God demands that we both love and hate. We’re actually not supposed to be all love all the time. There are things to love and things to hate. The problem becomes when we confuse the two. And honestly, it’s really easy to get them confused. It’s easy to start hating what we’re supposed to love and start loving what we’re supposed to hate.

Romans 12:9, “Don’t PRETEND to love others. REALLY LOVE them. HATE what is WRONG. Hold TIGHTLY to what is RIGHT.”

Jesus says there’s one way we will be known as his disciples, OUR LOVE. When we follow Jesus, we begin to love like him. Who did Jesus love? Everyone. So who are we supposed to love? Everyone.

That’s hard, isn’t it? Is there someone in your neighborhood, your office, or your family, that’s really hard to love? Everything about them absolutely rubs you the wrong way. Yeah, God doesn’t want you to keep pretending like you love them, as you so easily do with your shallow hellos and fake caring. God says you are to REALLY LOVE THEM.

That difficult person is someone Jesus died for. They’re someone God designed with great intention and put them on Earth for a purpose. They’re someone who has gone through real things, struggling with real feelings, and desperately need real love. And YOU ARE CALLED TO LOVE THEM.

But why? Because your love reflects Jesus. Not your judgment. Not your correction. Not your avoidance. Not your gossip. Just your love.

Does it mean you could get hurt? Yip. Does it mean you could get rejected? Yes. Does it mean your efforts could be a waste? Yes. Just like Jesus’ love got him hurt, made him hang there in rejection, and with all he gave it was a waste to some – but he did it anyway. And now he calls his girls to do the same. LOVE THEM. Get over how you feel about it and lead with love. Stop building your walls out of self-protection and be vulnerable with your love.

The truth is, we give love with strings of expectation. We expect our love to be received, appreciated and reciprocated. And when it’s not, we stop really loving and we start to ‘pretend’ love. We keep the peace, but we replay the battle. We smile to their face, but we talk behind their back. We text all the sweet emojis, but those emojis are the opposite of our true emotions. Fake. Fake. Fake. In fact, scripture tells us we could do all sorts of great and impressive acts, but if we don’t have love behind it, it’s absolutely worthless.

God is not impressed by your fake love.

Lord, help me to REALLY LOVE. Forgive me for hiding behind fake.

Could God help you love that person that you find so hard to love? Absolutely. And here’s how – he could help you see that person through his eyes. God loves them because he knows the potential he placed within them. God loves them because he knit them together with purpose and he knows that purpose is still possible. There’s goodness within that person because God’s fingerprints are all over them. He formed them. If you love the Creator, you can love his creation.

But that doesn’t mean you have to love the wrong they do. In fact, Romans 12:9 says, “HATE WHAT IS WRONG.” But here’s what it doesn’t say – It doesn’t say ‘hate the person who is wrong.’ Nowhere are we told to hate the person. We are to LOVE the person because they are God’s creation and Jesus died for them. We want God’s best for them. We want them to heal. We want them to be restored. We want them to live well.

We love the person, while we hate what is wrong. Separate the two.

I can hate the addiction while I still love the person. God does.
I can hate the ugly actions and hurtful words while I still love the person. God does.
I can hate the division and confusion while I still love the person. God does.

We’re never called to make peace with what is wrong and co-sign the sin. We’re called to HATE IT. Hate what is wrong.

The word ‘hate’ is a translation of the Greek word apostugeo. Apostugeo means an intense disgust. An emotion of being repulsed by something totally vile. So, God’s word is telling us to be repulsed by what is wrong. You don’t have to make peace with it! No, quite the opposite – you should be disgusted by it.

I hate the addiction. I hate the lies. I hate the pride. I hate the darkness. I hate the ugliness. I hate the sin. I’m absolutely repulsed by it. I won’t pretend to be okay with it. It disgusts me.

And I still love the person.

That’s the balance.

God isn’t asking us to just be robots who finally make the right choices. He’s asking us to allow him to change our emotions. This is more than choice, this is emotion. It’s how you FEEL about it.

Have you ever had God get all up in your emotions before? Have you had him touch you and change how you feel about something? You can’t explain it, but suddenly your feelings totally changed. Your cravings changed. Your desires changed. Your thoughts changed. That’s the transformational power of Jesus.

A few days ago I sat on an airplane next to a beautiful 80 year old woman and her cat who had messed himself. The smell was intense, but the conversation was delightful. I couldn’t believe this woman was 80. She was so healthy and vibrant. I said, “You have clearly been blessed by God.” She said, “No doubt, because I was a raging alcoholic for 50 years. My body shouldn’t be this healthy.” OH, TELL ME MORE! She said after 50 years of drinking, God touched her and changed her heart and she has never desired a drink again. She’s been sober for 30 years now.

Now, she hates what was wrong. God did that. He changed her emotions towards it. She doesn’t have to struggle to make the right choice when God changed how she felt about it.

Maybe God wants to change how you feel about something, but you’ve been holding on to it instead of releasing it to him. Maybe it wouldn’t be a daily struggle to change this if you trusted God with it. Maybe your feelings could change.

Let me tell you something, the God who brought Lazarus back to life, the God who gave sight to the blind, the God who made the crippled man who had laid on a mat for 38 years get up and walk, the God who turned a desert of dry bones into an Army – that God can touch you and change how you feel about things! He can help you LOVE the person and HATE what is wrong. He can change your emotions to align with his.

Will you let him?

I have a dear friend who has been through Hell and back in the past 2 years. The most unfair things have happened to her. It’s as if Hell was on a personal assignment to wreck every area of her life. She recently told me, “I’m not mad about it. God has healed my heart. I no longer have any ill feelings in me.” That’s a GOD WORK! That’s miraculous.

And let me tell you, God can and will do that for every single one of us. He can change our emotions. We can be a genuinely loving person while hating what is wrong and clinging to what is good.

I often blur the lines. I love the person, and I know the wrong they are doing, so I co-sign the wrong to preserve the relationship. I say things like, “Girl, you gotta do what you gotta do.” NO. I’m not helping her. I can love her and be repulsed by the wrong. And if I’m repulsed by the wrong, then I don’t co-sign it and encourage her to do her thing.

What would Jesus do? He would love her right where she is and show her a better way. Not with condemnation. Not with guilt and shame. He wouldn’t point his finger and tell her how wrong she was. He would remind her of her true worth and offer her something better.

Now, as followers of Jesus, we are called to love like him. How will we love the person and hate what is wrong? How will we stop making peace with the problem and align our feelings with the righteousness of God? How will we be repulsed by the work of the enemy while being a vessel for the work of God?

It’s a daily surrender of our heart. Lord, make my heart new. Change my emotions. Help me to love like you love. Help me to hate what you hate. Help me to hold tightly to what is right.

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