I recently read a new book which has become one of my top 10 all time reads. It’s “The Let Them Theory” by Mel Robbins. If you’ve read it, you know the game changer, peace giver, and eye opener, the simple lessons of “let them” and “let me” are. I honestly cannot be the same after reading it and beginning to practice it. I’m no longer disturbed over the things that once upset me so. I’m not even bothered by my previous pet peeves. I’m just “letting them” left and right, and that’s “letting me” live in peace and joy!

Yes, I’m recommending the book. It’s absolutely brilliant.

But here’s what the book doesn’t reference … it doesn’t reference all the scripture that supports the Let Them Theory. So, I’m giving it to you now.

While studying more in 2 Samuel, I was blown away to come across King David speaking the words “let them.” David’s own son was scheming to attack him and take the throne. Others were cursing him and throwing stones at him. And to all of this, David says in 2 Samuel 15: 11, “Let him.”

Let him curse me.

Let him throw stones.

Let them talk bad about me.

Let them be against me.

Let them be wrong.

Let them.

David says, “Let them. Perhaps the Lord will see that I am being wronged and will bless me because of the curses today.”

What a lesson. It’s not up to me to correct anyone. I don’t have to convince anyone to change. I’m not responsible for what they think or what they say. If God sees it is wrong, then he himself will handle it.

Revelations 22:11, “Let the one who is doing harm continue to do harm; let the one who is vile continue to be vile; let the one who is righteous continue to live righteously; let the one who is holy continue to be holy.” LET THEM.

You can’t make anyone else get sober. You can’t make them financially responsible. You can’t make them be nice. You can’t make them heal. They will only fight their battle when they’re ready to fight. My sister, it’s not up to you to change anyone. The convincing is not yours to do. Your judgment is not needed, nor is your correction. GOD CAN HANDLE THIS!

You can’t control them, so God says “let them.” Changing them is not your job. If they are not your child living at home, then correcting them is not your responsibility. Judging and condemning them is certainly not your calling.

People are continually showing you who they are – let them and believe them. Take all the energy you used to spend on trying to change and control them, and put it on letting yourself get better.

You do you … You can do you much better when you take the focus off what everyone else is doing and take a deeper look at what you’re doing.

Focusing on what you can’t control makes you stressed. Focusing on what you can control makes you powerful. You can control YOU, so God’s word says in Galatians 6:4-5, “Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct.”

It’s a trick of the enemy to be so focused on how someone else needs to change that you miss your own need to change. Then we’re all just a bunch of hyper-critical, broken people walking around thinking it’s always someone else’s fault. We’re carrying undue stress because we’ve taken on the burden of trying to change every one else.

Honey, you are NOT JESUS – you don’t change anyone. You don’t save them. You don’t fix them.

Jesus is working on YOU – focus on that. Pour your energy into the work he has called you to do and the changes the Spirit is prompting in you. I’ve found there’s so much work to be done on me that I simply don’t have time to be worried about the work God needs to do in someone else. That’s God’s job, not mine. And if someone is truly doing me wrong, God will handle it.

The Let Them Theory says, “When someone feels that you accept them as they are, they feel safe with you. The opposite happens when you pressure, change, criticize, push or expect someone to behave differently than they are. This pressure puts you and your love one in a battle for control.” Well dang, doesn’t that just explain a whole lot? Where was this when I was raising 3 teens and trying to force my good ways with control? I created a battle and left them feeling unsafe. I can’t go back and change it, but I can do better now. I can end the battle. I can offer the safe space.

You get to do better now too.

We’re called to be different in this world. As disciples of Jesus, he gave us a mission. Jesus said in Matthew 10: 16, “Look, I am sending you out as sheep among wolves. So be as shrewd as snakes and harmless as doves.” Now, let’s really understand this. We are to be smart while remaining innocent. Snakes have to be smart to survive because everyone wants to kill a snake. They’re skilled at avoiding conflict and danger. Be shrewd as a snake. But at the same time, be harmless as doves. Doves are innocent and full of love. They’re not forceful or pestering. Be peaceful as a dove.

Can you avoid conflict without being forceful? Can you be smart while remaining innocent? Can you change without thinking everyone else needs to change too? Can you remain humble as a sheep while walking among wolves? This is your mission assigned by Jesus. Show up for the mission and let him change you. Let everyone else have their space for Jesus to work his change in them too.

I’m not Jesus. I’m not here to change anyone. But I’m here to be changed by him.

Where he’s changing me is recognizing the need to “let them”. Just let them be themselves. Let them be wrong. Let them say what they want to say. Let them go their own way. Let them.

And let me. Let me continue to be strengthened and changed by the Holy Spirit so I can show nothing but love and joy on this journey. Oh what peace is here in letting them, so then I can let me.

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