Was someone unjust in their words?  Or are you just bad with criticism?

Were you really just observing, or just scared to jump in?

Are you working on yourself, waiting for the right moment, or scared to leap?

Is something out of your league, or do you just tell yourself it is?

This is shadow work.  What tapes have you been playing your whole life that keep you from getting to another level of skill?   Rehearsal is not good enough - if you rehearse the wrong things, you will deliver a wrong performance.

You have to work on your shadow.