Nurture and nature; two components in the development of individual differences. Understanding the root cause of abuse may help in the emotional healing process and provide an avenue of forgiveness on a deeper level resulting in better mental health for generations to come.

Introduction to Loose Cannons

A while back I watched Keep Sweet, Pray and Obey, a documentary mini-series that focused on the polygamous Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, an offshoot of mainstream Mormonism, and its leader Warren S. Jeffs. It was shocking to say the least.

Following that documentary, I saw Murder Among the Mormons, a true crime documentary miniseries following Mark Hofmann, one of the most notable forgers in history, who created forgeries related to the Latter Day Saint movement.

So when I read the book Loose Cannons: A Memoir of Mania and Mayhem in a Mormon Family, the subject matter didn’t surprise me, although it did sadden me. There was a connection to those documentaries I'd seen.

Diana Cannon-Ragsdale’s father worked in the district attorneys office during the time of salamander letters. His journals, along with her mothers’ journals during psychological therapy, gave Diana insight into the poor emotional health of her parents.

Their mental illnesses had a devastating impact in Diana’s own life. Like ripples in a pond, that impact touched the lives of her own children. She was determined to find healing on her journey to stop the pain from reaching her grandchildren and future generations.

Diana now advocates for those who cope with mental illness, were raised by dysfunctional families, and must overcome abusive situations. She details her challenging journey in her memoir, Loose Cannons.

When Generations of Your Loved Ones Have Suffered

While Diana’s father claims to have never been disciplined, he was more than a little heavy handed when it came to raising his own children. Perhaps because boundaries make kids feel safe and secure. Raising a child without boundaries or discipline often leads to narcissism.

Parental boundaries allow children to grow up, to understand they can't always get their way, to be more patient and mature. Knowing that there is a limit to how much comfort and pleasure their parents will provide, children can learn to cope with disappointment; as an added bonus, the mild disappointment often brought about by boundaries can also help children to develop empathy — perhaps for others who have discomfort and disappointment. Understanding the meaning of "limits" allows kids to be more connected to the real world.Healthy Boundaries in Parenting

In addition, Diana's mother had a mental illness that left her checked-out most of the time, and later led to complete abandonment.

Undiagnosed Mental Illness Led To Abuse

Her parent’s undiagnosed mental illnesses were the root cause of their unhealthy obsessions and behaviors. As a result, Diana and her siblings faced abuse and neglect as part of their daily life.

The level of neglect was so extreme that she was often hungry as her parent’s barely fed them. An older brother learned to prepare spaghetti so they’d have something to eat. In fact, it was so bad that she didn’t realize they weren’t a poor family until much later in life. The reason they weren’t fed had nothing to do with lack of finances.

Read the memoir Loose Cannons: A Memoir of Mania and Mayhem in a Mormon Family.

I’ve learned there is no such thing as a lie, it always reveals itself eventually. I feel lies and secrets are far more damaging than truth!

Remove the Source of Emotional Pain

Likely one of the best ways to begin emotional healing is to remove yourself from the source of emotional pain if possible. In Diana’s case, there were a number of years she chose to put distance between herself and her parents.

Begin Emotional Healing

Painful emotions can be a detriment to your overall well-being.