Want to design the life you desire? Here's a question to start with: do you make life happen or is life happening to you? There's a significant difference.

My mission is to help you instill habits practiced by the longest-lived people on earth. Why? So you can extend your healthspan and have the most heartbeats available to spend!

Stacey Aaron Domanico, author of "Where Do You Spend Your Heartbeats?" issues a gentle wake-up call in this episode to spend our time wisely and purposefully.

After two bouts with cancer, Stacey realized healing is hard when you're not being authentic. During her second cancer diagnosis, she found herself caught up in pretending to be happily married and doing the same thing she'd done during the first battle against cancer.

I continued the same way of eating, worrying about what others thought, living in an unhealthy relationship, and treating myself like a foe and not a friend.Stacey Aaron Domanico in "Where Do You Spend Your Heartbeats"

Signs You're Just Surviving

Does any of this sound familiar?

You are tired and life is tiringLife feels painful most of the timeYou believe you have no powerYou're keeping your head downTelevision is an escapeYou numb yourself with emotional eatingYou feel like a victim of life's crueltiesWalls are your friend, a prison of your own creationYou've learned when it comes to life, it's best to grin and bear itYou feel stuck

If you're struggling to make a decision, you're not alone. Mental and emotional strain can lead to very real decision fatigue. In her book, Stacey has a five-step "stethescope gut check" that I found to be incredibly useful.

Ready to Design the Life You Desire?

What kind of life do you want to live? Are you living it? What legacy do you want to leave? Do you take steps that lead in the direction of your dreams?

Stacey is available for coaching, read her story here: coachingwithstacey.com.

The great paradox of our time is that many of us are busy and bored at the same time. While running from one event to the next, we wonder in our innermost selves if anything is really happening.Henri Nouwen

Getting Started

Reading Stacey's book was empowering. She asks questions that made me think. At the end of every chapter, she lists key reminders. I've gone back to them frequently over the past few weeks. As I mentioned in the podcast episode, I highlighted a significant portion of her book.

Below are some key points to focus on:

Create a timeline of the milestones and experiences you want out of life (a bucket list of sorts)Find people who embrace life and seek their advice.Stop comparing your life to others - focus on your gifts, talents and abilities.Life has a way of filling our days, be proactive and fill your days in a way that gets you closer to your dreams.Understand that you can change your current circumstances but often there is a price to pay. As Stacey mentions, "The fear of change overpowered the pain and that's really what the scale is. Once the pain became more than the fear (...) The ability to take care of [yourself] grows stronger.""For just one week, visualize your dream life in as much detail as you can. You have nothing to lose but a life of joy." page 153 Chapter 8 Key Reminders from "Where Do You Spend Your Heartbeats?"

Meet Author Stacey Aaron Domanico

Website: coachingwithstacey.com

Following a dynamic career of over 25 years at the executive level leading teams and coaching women in a Fortune 50 company, Stacey Aaron Domanico became a certified life and empowerment coach so she could focus on her first love of mentoring women: a role she began to enjoy while still in her corporate life. Today, as a two-time cancer and toxic relationship survivor, it is Aaron Domanico’s purpose and passion to help other women by sharing the lessons she has learned and tools she has developed throughout her own journey.

Against the backdrop of the fact that we all have a fi...