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Recently one of my besties called me flaming mad after an encounter at the gym she'd been going to for half a year or more. After I heard the story, I was inspired to help other women avoid a similar scenario.

What happened was, my friend had recently overcome some obstacles around weight loss and avoiding the gym due to feeling self-conscious.

So crazy when you think about the fact that fitness centers are there to help people get in shape, but many people who need them don't go because people might stare or judge them.

My friend had overcome her hesitation and she'd made a lot of progress on her fitness goals, shedding over 50 pounds on her own with diet and exercise. She decided at this point to pay for a personal trainer to help her continue making progress towards reaching her goals.

She met with her trainer, a young man in his early 30's, and explained to him that she was the mother of seven, she'd been through a twin pregnancy and had diastasis recti of four inches (abdominal muscles separated), and that her doctor said it wasn't safe for her to do crunches and certain other types of exercises due to the separation.

Red Flags that Signal You May Need to Fire Your Trainer

The first couple of sessions were okay, but he was pushing he, saying do crunches or else she wouldn't make progress. In addition, after showing up for a workout a bit bloated (due to drinking sparkling water for the first time) he stared at her stomach disapprovingly and then expressed his displeasure that she obviously hadn't been tracking and how she clearly wouldn't make any progress if she didn't follow his advice.

At this point, she was feeling incredibly self-conscious, and even though she completed the workout and her knees were killing her from doing squats, she went home feeling defeated and angry. The next few days the thought of going to the gym made her cringe. She didn't go back for two weeks. 

When we talked about this, I told her, girl, you can't let a bad trainer steal your drive, you can't let him throw away your progress. You were doing fine before him, now get back in that gym and fire your trainer and hire a good one!

So she went to the gym and spoke with the manager, explained the situation, and asked him to transfer her remaining sessions to a different trainer. He complied. When the original trainer heard about it though, he sent her a text saying:

"I'm confused what you think you're not getting? You've been given all the tools. There is absolutely no replacement for consistent hard work and following a diet as closely as possible. And I've not seen you in 2 weeks."

Well, that wasn't what we were expecting!

Now she had a (screen) confrontation with the trainer, and her opportunity to address how wrong his actions were, but it seemed like he had already made up his mind about her.

I get it.

Maybe it's hard to discern between excuses and legitimate limitations. Although he seemed to discount what she told him and make the assumption that she was not willing to work hard enough to get the same results that he gets when he diets and exercises.

What Makes a Good Personal Trainer

First, there is no excuse for body shaming. Second, don’t waste your time on a bad trainer. This week, we turned to Jessica Mazzucco, an NYC area certified fitness trainer and founder of the fitness platform www.theglutereceruit.com  to help us with the top 10 signs you’ve found a good ...