In this darkly comic and cutting installment of The Actual News, our host takes a sobering, irreverent stroll through the chaos of American legislation, media distortion, and existential dread. As a sweeping new bill barrels through Congress, we ask: Who actually benefits, and who gets left in the dust?

With economic inequality rising, cuts to Medicaid and food stamps, and more cash for immigration enforcement, the episode explores the cruel math of modern governance — where austerity meets aristocracy. Along the way, we dive into the absurdity of media narratives, and the illusion of political compromise.

Notable Quotes:

“Hi, this is The Actual News. Easy listening for the end of the world.”

“Are things actually bad? Are they actually getting worse, or is it just me being a little baby about everything?”

“Skeletons we have in Congress complain about young people... I understand that sometimes when young people are complaining to them, it just doesn’t have a lot of teeth.”

“It gets passed back like a lateral for you sports fans.”

“Imagine if you made cuts and then you didn’t actually save money — ’cause that’s what this bill does.”

“Now you can’t arrest somebody because they sent you a video of Baby Joe Rogan talking to Baby Theo Vaughn, which frankly I think should be illegal.”

“Josh Hawley’s like, well, this thing is just going to shut down a bunch of rural hospitals. Anyway. I will vote for it.”

“Maybe they won’t affect it much for you. I would have a lot of trouble seeing how it would positively affect the majority of Americans.”

Cynical, reflective, and unflinchingly honest — with sharp political insight and grim humor for an audience navigating late-stage capitalism with earbuds in.

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