TOP STORIES! Red Lobster Is Reportedly Heading For Bankruptcy After Losing Millions On Endless Shrimp Nine Year Old ‘Seagull Boy' wins European screeching competition Trump VP contender Kristi Noem writes of killing dog – and goat – in new book Biden reads out ‘pause’ instruction during speech to union members in gaffe reminiscent of Ron Burgundy Harvey Weinstein taken to hospital after transferring to Rikers Island jail ahead of court appearance Airplane passenger fined in Sydney for urinating in a cup INTERNATIONAL NEWS Proposed Chinese train station resembles a massive sanitary pad RELIGIOUS NEWS Russell Brand announces baptism after months-long spiritual journey: 'Taking the plunge' Virtual AI priest ‘Father Justin’ who believes he’s REAL and can absolve your sins faces backlash over bizarre answers Charlotte evangelical pastor in national spotlight, called Trump Bible ‘disgusting’ FINANCIAL NEWS A woman wheeled a corpse into bank to co-sign a loan last week and was promptly arrested SCIENCE Cicadas are nature's weirdos. They pee stronger than us and an STD can turn them into zombies TRUE CRIME (we call it that for the algorithm) Woman takes off from Texas park with stolen geese Man Allegedly Bench-Presses Goose for 10 Minutes at L.A. Park; Goose Allegedly Loves It HEALTH NEWS Daily showers are purely 'performative' and have no real health benefit, experts insist British farmers using Axe body spray to keep rams from fighting - UPI.com SHOCKING NEWS Trans grandma able to breastfeed baby with help of experimental hormone drugs FEEL GOOD STORIES Seeing a demon in your room when you wake up is more common than you think Va. farmers find new egg market after Tyson Foods shut down Glen Allen plant MOVIE REVIEW MONKEY MAN. Starring Dave Patel.