A World of Difference

A World of Difference


Elaine Lin Hering on Overcoming Barriers to Speaking Up: A Framework for Leaders

April 03, 2024

Unlearning silence isn't just about finding your voice; it's about recognizing the ways we've all been complicit in silencing others. And the surprising insights from a Harvard lecturer will have you rethinking the impact of silence in your world. Join the conversation to uncover the hidden ways we contribute to silence and discover how to foster inclusive communication. It's time to unlearn the silence that holds us back. Stay tuned for the unexpected wisdom that will leave you reevaluating your role in creating a more inclusive world.


My special guest is Elaine Lin Hering.


Elaine Lin Hering is a renowned facilitator, speaker, and writer with extensive experience in communication, collaboration, and conflict management. Drawing from her background as a former managing partner of Triad Consulting Group and a lecturer at Harvard Law School, Elaine's expertise spans across various industries and continents, working with corporate, government, and nonprofit clients. Her personal journey as an immigrant from Taiwan to the United States adds a unique perspective to her work, diving deep into the impact of cultural differences on communication and strategies for inclusive leadership. With her compelling insights and vulnerability, Elaine's book, Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent, and Live More Fully, resonates with individuals seeking to navigate the complexities of silence and voice in personal and professional growth.


In what ways are the often very well-intentioned people around me, such as my manager, who in their heart of hearts wants to support me, actually silencing me? - Elaine Lin Hering


In this episode, you will be able to:

  • Embrace the power of inclusive communication and unlearn silence in professional environments.
  • Enhance your communication and collaboration skills to foster a more inclusive work environment.
  • Explore the impact of cultural differences on communication and how it influences team dynamics.
  • Discover effective strategies for inclusive leadership and building stronger team dynamics.
  • Understand the role of silence in personal and professional growth, and how it can positively impact your workplace interactions.

Embrace the Power of Inclusive Communication

Inclusive communication in professional environments is essential for fostering a sense of belonging and diversity. By embracing diverse voices and perspectives, teams can collaborate more effectively and achieve better results. Creating a space where everyone feels heard and valued cultivates a positive work culture and promotes innovation.


The resources mentioned in this episode are:

  • Join the Difference Maker Community at www.patreon.com/aworldofdifference to access exclusive episodes and support the show for as little as $5 a month.
  • Follow Lori Adams-Brown on Twitter @loriadbr and on Instagram @loriadamsbrown to stay connected and share your suggestions for future guests on the show.
  • Check out Elaine Lin Hering's book Unlearning How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent, and Live More Fully to gain deeper insights into unlearning silence and fostering a more inclusive environment.
  • Consider reaching out to Lori Adams-Brown to share your stories and experiences, as well as to suggest individuals who are making a difference and could be featured on the podcast.
  • Explore the wisdom and advice shared by Elaine Lin Hering in the exclusive episode available in the Difference Maker Community, where she provides insights on self-care, resilience, and navigating challenging spaces.

Being explicit doesn't mean that you have to be direct. Being explicit means, 'Oh, read the air. That's what is happening here. Can we name it?' - Elaine Lin Hering


Explore Impact of Cultural Differences

Understanding the impact of cultural differences on communication is crucial for creating inclusive work environments. By acknowledging and respecting diverse cultural backgrounds, teams can leverage unique perspectives and insights to drive innovation. Embracing cultural diversity fosters mutual understanding, strengthens relationships, and promotes a more inclusive and harmonious workplace.


The key moments in this episode are:

00:00:02 - Introduction to Unlearning Silence


00:01:50 - Elaine's Background and Immigrant Experience


00:05:02 - Defining Silence


08:03 - Internalized Messages and Reflective Habits


00:13:58 - Understanding Voice


00:15:03 - Understanding Different Communication Styles


00:17:34 - Impact of Organizational Silence


00:20:52 - The Real Cost of Speaking Up


00:23:59 - Encouraging Voice at the Table


00:28:57 - Unlearning Silence


00:29:58 - Unlearning Silence


00:31:14 - Three Levers of Voice


00:34:30 - Cross-Cultural Communication


00:39:38 - Role of Silence


00:45:25 - The Power of Unlearning


00:46:29 - The Impact of Silence


00:48:04 - Personal Stories of Silencing


00:49:49 - Co-Creating the Podcast


00:52:26 - Self-Compassion and Making a Difference


The question is not, am I a good or bad person for doing that, but am I having the impact that I want? Am I aligned in how I think I'm showing up and how I'm actually showing up? - Elaine Lin Hering


Enhance Communication and Collaboration Skills

Improving communication and collaboration skills is key to overcoming challenges related to silence and voice in the workplace. By honing these skills, individuals can navigate cultural differences, build stronger relationships, and work together more productively. Effective communication lays the foundation for successful teamwork and organizational growth.


Timestamped summary of this episode:

00:00:02 - Introduction to Unlearning Silence

Lori introduces the podcast and guest Elaine Lynn Herring, highlighting her impactful book "Unlearning How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent, and Live More Fully". Elaine's personal background and professional experience are mentioned, setting the stage for the conversation.


00:01:50 - Elaine's Background and Immigrant Experience

Elaine shares her immigrant background from Taiwan to the United States, highlighting the cultural and societal influences that shaped her relationship with silence. The impact of patriarchal culture and the Christian church on her upbringing is discussed.


00:05:02 - Defining Silence

Elaine provides a nuanced definition of silence, distinguishing between the value of reflective silence and the detrimental impact of silencing oneself in communication and relationships. The societal, cultural, and personal factors contributing to silence are explored.


08:03 - Internalized Messages and Reflective Habits

Elaine reflects on the messages and reflective habits she internalized about speaking and being heard, both personally and professionally. The challenges of navigating individualistic and collectivist societies, as well as the impact of cultural, gender, and societal norms on voice and silence, are discussed.


00:13:58 - Understanding Voice

Elaine emphasizes that voice extends beyond verbal communication, encompassing how individuals move through the world and express their unique perspectives. The importance of embracing diverse communication styles and perspectives for fostering innovation and inclusivity in teams and organizations is highlighted.


00:15:03 - Understanding Different Communication Styles

Elaine discusses how individuals process information differently and how communication flows can be designed to accommodate different styles, allowing for all voices to be heard.


00:17:34 - Impact of Organizational Silence

Elaine shares her experience of feeling silenced in a previous hostile work environment and discusses the societal and systemic factors that contribute to organizational silence.


00:20:52 - The Real Cost of Speaking Up

Elaine delves into the real costs of speaking up, including the impact on mental and emotional health, and the societal phenomena of collective silence.


00:23:59 - Encouraging Voice at the Table

Elaine offers practical strategies for managers and parents to encourage people to bring their voices to the table, including designing communication patterns, using standard questions, and listening across differences.


00:28:57 - Unlearning Silence

Elaine emphasizes the importance of being cognizant of the role that silence plays in our interactions, and the ongoing journey of unlearning silence in order to create space for all voices to be heard.


00:29:58 - Unlearning Silence

Elaine and Lori discuss the importance of unlearning silence and recognize the value of speaking up. They emphasize the need for individuals to be aware of their unique perspectives and to contribute to substance, relationship, and process in conversations.


00:31:14 - Three Levers of Voice

Elaine explains the concept of the three levers of voice, which are substance, relationship, and process. She highlights the impact of these levers on communication patterns and the importance of recognizing different perspectives in discussions.


00:34:30 - Cross-Cultural Communication

Elaine and Lori delve into the topic of cross-cultural communication, referencing Erin Meyer's "The Culture Map." They discuss the differences in communication styles across cultures and the need to explicitly address and understand these differences in diverse settings.


00:39:38 - Role of Silence

Elaine offers a call to action for individuals in positions of power to observe the role of silence in their teams. She emphasizes the importance of being neutral and honest in assessing the impact of silence and encourages readers to read her book for further guidance on recognizing and addressing silence in their environments.


00:45:25 - The Power of Unlearning

Lori talks about how much she learned from Elaine's book, emphasizing the title "unlearning" as a process. She expresses excitement for the journey of unlearning and belonging.


00:46:29 - The Impact of Silence

Lori reflects on the impact of silence in different spaces, including faith communities, corporate environments, and journalism. She highlights the importance of knowing when to speak and when to be silent.


00:48:04 - Personal Stories of Silencing

Lori shares how listeners have reached out to her with their stories of being silenced in their workplaces or faith communities. She expresses gratitude for being a space where they can share their experiences.


00:49:49 - Co-Creating the Podcast

Lori encourages listeners to reach out to her with suggestions for guests and expresses the impact of the community in deepening the conversations. She also invites listeners to join the difference maker community on Patreon.


00:52:26 - Self-Compassion and Making a Difference

Lori ends the podcast with a message of self-compassion and kindness, emphasizing the importance of each person's voice and the value they bring to the world. She encourages listeners to keep making a difference.