A World of Difference

A World of Difference


Lydia Matioli on Building a Community Response to Sexual Violence: From Silence to Support

November 21, 2023

In a world where silence shrouds the darkness, one woman's journey emerges from the depths of despair. Lydia Matioli's story is a haunting reminder that evil can lurk where we least expect it. From the hands of a trusted pastor to the horrors witnessed by her best friend, Lydia's path is marked by heartbreak and resilience. But as she embarks on a mission to end the cycle of sexual violence, a twist awaits, a twist that will leave you questioning everything you thought you knew.

My special guest is Lydia Matioli

Lydia Matioli is a highly accomplished professional in the field of sexual violence prevention and awareness. With a Bachelor of Arts in Gender, Women, and Development Studies and over eight years of experience in program design and community outreach, Lydia has established herself as a knowledgeable and respected figure in the industry. As the Programs and Partnerships Director at Freely and Hope, a nonprofit organization dedicated to ending the cycle of sexual violence in Kenya and Zambia, Lydia plays a pivotal role in designing and implementing effective programs and initiatives. Her work focuses on creating sustainable solutions and empowering abuse survivors and advocates to become leaders in their communities. Notably, Lydia recently released a children's book titled "Pendo's Power," which aims to educate children on recognizing and reporting sexual abuse. With her extensive expertise and commitment to making a difference, Lydia is a valuable guest on the A World of Difference podcast, offering invaluable insights and strategies for increasing awareness and prevention of sexual violence.

I wanted to be a lawyer so that whatever happened to me cannot happen to anyone else. I wanted to be a doctor to support other survivors. - Lydia Matioli


In this episode, you will be able to:

  • Learn effective strategies to prevent sexual violence and create a safer environment for your family.
  • Explore the influence of cultural beliefs on sexual violence and gain insights to challenge harmful norms.
  • Discover healing resources and support systems to empower survivors towards their journey of recovery.
  • Understand the importance of community engagement in addressing sexual violence and creating lasting change.
  • Equip children with the knowledge and skills to recognize and respond to abuse, ensuring their safety and well-being.

Healing and Support Options

The journey towards healing following sexual abuse is a tortuous path that necessitates ample support, understanding, and patience. Lydia stresses the importance of survivors being part of support groups like Freely in Hope and having access to referral services. Turning trauma into advocacy, sharing one's story, and challenging unacceptable stigmas are all vital elements of a holistic healing process.

The resources mentioned in this episode are:

  • Check out Lydia Matioli's new book, Pendo's Power, a children's book that helps kids recognize and report sexual abuse.
  • Visit the website of Freely and Hope, the organization Lydia works with, to learn more about their programs and initiatives to end sexual violence.
  • If you have experienced abuse or trauma and need professional help, visit BetterHelp.com to find a therapist who can provide support and guidance.
  • Take advantage of the 10% discount on your first month at BetterHelp.com/difference today.
  • Follow Lydia Matioli on social media to stay updated on her work and advocacy efforts.
  • Spread the word about Pendo's Power and the importance of educating children about consent and personal boundaries.
  • Consider volunteering or supporting local organizations that work towards ending sexual violence in your community.
  • Have open and honest conversations with children about consent, personal boundaries, and safe spaces.
  • Educate yourself on the signs of abuse and how to respond if someone discloses their experience to you.
  • Support survivors of abuse by listening, believing, and validating their experiences.

You do not have the right to have sex with a woman. A woman is a human being just like you, with the same rights, just like you. - Lydia Matioli

The key moments in this episode are:

00:00:02 - Introduction


00:01:13 - Lydia's Work and Book


00:02:29 - Trigger Warning and Sponsor


00:04:33 - Introduction to Lydia Matioli


00:09:08 - Impact of Sexual Violence


00:18:21 - The Influence of Generational Beliefs on Sexual Violence


00:20:20 - Impact on Faith Communities


00:24:17 - Writing "Pendo's Power" to Address Child Sexual Abuse


00:30:31 - Empowering Children in the Face of Abuse


00:36:31 - The Impact of Healing and Advocacy


00:37:35 - The Complexity of Healing


00:39:45 - Best Practices for Healing


00:41:18 - The Power of Storytelling


00:53:54 - Join the World of Difference Community on Patreon


00:54:31 - Make a Difference by Sharing the Podcast


00:54:55 - Help Others Find the Podcast through Reviews


00:54:55 - Take Care of Yourself


00:54:55 - Keep Making a Difference


No one was holding anyone accountable. No one was talking about it. No one was asking the survivors, what's happening with you? - Lydia Matioli


Timestamped summary of this episode:

00:00:02 - Introduction

Host Lori Adams-Brown introduces the podcast and her guest, Lydia Matioli. She highlights Lydia's passion for building platforms for abuse survivors and advocates and discusses Lydia's background growing up in Kibera, Africa's largest slum.


00:01:13 - Lydia's Work and Book

Lori discusses Lydia's work as the Programs and Partnerships Director at Freely and Hope, where she designs and implements programs to address sexual violence. They also talk about Lydia's recently released book, "Pendo's Power," which helps children recognize and report sexual abuse.


00:02:29 - Trigger Warning and Sponsor

Lori gives a trigger warning for the sensitive topic of sexual abuse and introduces the podcast sponsor, BetterHelp, a resource for therapy and counseling. She shares her personal experience with therapy and encourages listeners to seek help if needed.


00:04:33 - Introduction to Lydia Matioli

Lori welcomes Lydia and asks her to share more about her background. Lydia shares that she is a mother, leads programs at Freely and Hope, and grew up in Kibera. She opens up about her personal experiences with sexual abuse and the culture of silence in her community.


00:09:08 - Impact of Sexual Violence

Lydia recounts the story of her best friend who was gang-raped in Kibera and the lack of support and resources available to survivors. She explains how this experience inspired her to start having conversations about sexual violence and led to her advocacy work


00:18:21 - The Influence of Generational Beliefs on Sexual Violence

The guest discusses how the belief systems of previous generations have contributed to the prevalence of sexual violence. Both men and women have been conditioned to believe in retrogressive beliefs, perpetuating a cycle of abuse. The guest emphasizes the need to shift this mindset and promote respect and equality between genders.


00:20:20 - Impact on Faith Communities

The guest shares her personal struggle with faith communities due to her experiences with abuse. Many perpetrators are faith leaders, which has affected her trust and connection with God through the community. She acknowledges the need to find her own ways of practicing her faith and emphasizes the importance of caring for oneself and protecting against further harm.


00:24:17 - Writing "Pendo's Power" to Address Child Sexual Abuse

The guest explains that her experiences as a survivor and as a mother inspired her to write the book "Pendo's Power." The book aims to help children recognize and report sexual abuse by teaching them about body boundaries, consent, and the power of their voice. The guest shares positive feedback and the impact the book is having on children and parents.


00:30:31 - Empowering Children in the Face of Abuse

The conversation highlights the power dynamics between adults and children that often result in the silencing of children's voices. The guest discusses how the book "Pendo's Power" empowers children by validating their experiences and teaching them that their voice matters. The book helps children understand that they have the power to speak up and be


00:36:31 - The Impact of Healing and Advocacy

The guest expresses the importance of giving freedom to survivors of abuse and allowing them to share their stories. They discuss the impact of abuse on mothers and the opportunity for healing and advocacy when their own children reach the age they were when the abuse occurred. They also highlight the need for advocacy within faith communities to protect children.


00:37:35 - The Complexity of Healing

The conversation explores the complexity of healing from sexual violence, particularly when the abusers are often considered "do-gooders" in society. They discuss the difficulty survivors face in being believed due to the perception of their abusers as trustworthy individuals. The guest emphasizes the need for survivors to be part of a supportive community and to access support services.


00:39:45 - Best Practices for Healing

The guest recommends being part of a community of survivors as a key practice for healing. They mention the importance of support groups for survivors and the creation of communities where individuals can share their stories and reclaim lost parts of themselves. Additionally, they emphasize the importance of accessing support services and provide resources for survivors.


00:41:18 - The Power of Storytelling

The conversation highlights the power of storytelling in the healing process. They discuss the need for survivors to have their stories heard, believed, and empathized with. They emphasize the role of Safe communities in providing support and healing. Storytelling is acknowledged as a key element in processing trauma.


00:53:54 - Join the World of Difference Community on Patreon

Join the World of Difference community on Patreon to access extra content, including travel tips from Lori. Share the podcast with others to make a difference and leave a review to help the podcast reach more people.


00:54:31 - Make a Difference by Sharing the Podcast

Share the podcast with someone who could benefit from the conversation. This is one way to make a difference and help others.


00:54:55 - Help Others Find the Podcast through Reviews

Leave a review for the podcast on your preferred platform. This helps others discover the podcast and engage in important conversations.


00:54:55 - Take Care of Yourself

With a lot going on in the world, remember to prioritize self-care. No matter where you are, your actions can make a difference.


00:54:55 - Keep Making a Difference

Despite the challenges, keep striving to make a positive impact in the world. Your efforts matter.


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