Does this sound familiar? You've been told to just get over it or move on from a traumatic experience or oppressive situation. But despite your efforts, you're still struggling with overwhelming emotions and pain. You're not alone. In fact, ignoring or suppressing emotions can actually make things worse. It's time to take a different approach. Join us in this episode as we explore the profound impact of trauma and oppression on emotional health. We'll help you identify and effectively process emotions for personal growth, and show you the power of community support in overcoming emotional challenges. Let's heal together.

In this episode, you will be able to:

• Discover the significance of emotional health and well-being in our daily lives.
• Learn to identify and effectively process emotions for personal growth.
• Explore the profound effects of trauma and oppression on emotional well-being.
• Delve into the fascinating connection between faith and emotional health.
• Understand the role of community support in overcoming emotional challenges.

My special guest is Becky Castle Miller.

Let us introduce you to Becky Castle-Miller, a dedicated PhD student studying the New Testament at Wheaton College, mentored by Dr. Esau McCaulley. Her fascinating research in the Gospel of Luke explores the impact of trauma and oppression on emotions, providing invaluable insights into emotional health and healing. Serving as Discipleship Director at an international church in the Netherlands for nearly a decade, Becky is passionate about promoting emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being within faith communities.

The resources mentioned in this episode are:

• Check out Beth Allison Barr's Substack for commentary on the recent events in the Southern Baptist Convention.
• Be wary of leaders who claim to support women but have a history of covering up abuse.
• Educate yourself on the latest scientific research on emotions to better understand the emotions mentioned in the Bible.
• Consider the impact of trauma on emotions when studying the Gospel.
• Look into Pete Scazzero's book, Emotionally Healthy Discipleship, for guidance on emotional health.
• Practice more collective lament and self-reflection as a church to address past and current complicity in abuse and systemic issues like racism and patriarchy.
• Encourage pastors to gain a deeper understanding of emotions and trauma to better serve their congregations.
• Seek out resources and tools for emotional, mental, and spiritual health, such as counseling or therapy, support groups, and self-help books.

Creating Change in Patriarchal Systems

Patriarchal systems often perpetuate unhealthy norms around emotional expression and communication. To create positive change, individuals must be willing to reject the culture that socialized them and learn new ways to express emotions, listen to others, and understand the values they reflect. Such changes can challenge existing power structures and promote a more equitable environment where all individuals are encouraged to express themselves emotionally, regardless of their gender. Becky Castle Miller argues that creating change in emotional health within patriarchal systems is essential and possible, countering common narratives that separate rationality and emotionality. By embracing the idea that rationality and emotionality are part of the same process, Castle Miller's work provides a strong foundation for reforming faith-based communities to create emotionally supportive environments where everyone can thrive.

When we use emotions and interpret them, especially around gender and culture, in ways that are not honest and not informed by multiple perspectives, we get ourselves in the situations that we're currently in. - Becky Castle Miller

The key moments in this episode are:

00:00:02 - Introduction,

00:01:22 - Emotional Health in the Church,

00:06:47 - Abuse and Trauma,

00:10:20 - Research on Emotions in the Gospel of Luke,

00:14:55 - Different Expressions of Emotions,

00:17:15 - The Secular View of Emotion,

00:18:39 - Emotion as a Constructed Concept,

00:22:03 - Emotional Abuse and Gender,

00:27:35 - Gendered Emotion and Emotional Maturity,

00:30:46 - Creating Change in Patriarchal Systems,

00:34:33 - The Need for Change in Faith-Based Communities,

00:35:18 - The Threat to Christian Patriarchy,

00:40:27 - Writing for the Church,

00:43:44 - Emotional Health and IFS,

00:47:22 - Self-Leadership and Curiosity,

00:50:49 - Tips for Overcoming Obstacles,

00:51:58 - Joining the Difference Makers Community,

00:53:24 - Prioritizing Emotional Health,

00:54:31 - Taking Care of Yourself,

Prioritizing Emotional Health

Emotional health should be prioritized in the same way physical and mental well-being are valued. Steps to achieving and maintaining emotional health include practicing self-care, seeking support from friends and family, and pursuing professional therapy when needed. Recognizing and confronting emotional struggles and obstacles enables personal growth and emotional resilience in the face of adversity. During the podcast, Becky Castle Miller highlights the necessity of self-leadership and self-compassion in promoting emotional health. Both Castle Miller and Lori Adams-Brown emphasize the importance of acknowledging emotional struggles, as well as the role of community in supporting individuals throughout their emotional journeys. Castle Miller's work sheds light on the pressing need to prioritize emotional health, especially in faith-based communities, to provide a safe and supportive space for everyone.

Gendered Emotion and Emotional Maturity

Emotions are often social constructs that differ between genders, with women typically being more emotionally expressive, while men are taught to suppress their emotions. In the podcast, Castle Miller discusses how women are frequently tightly emotionally controlled in specific cultures and contexts, particularly within faith-based spaces. Encouraging emotional maturity and expression for all individuals, regardless of gender, empowers people to acknowledge and process their feelings, ultimately leading to improved emotional well-being. From her perspective, Becky Castle Miller emphasizes that faith-based spaces have a long way to go when it comes to addressing emotional health. She encourages men to learn from women's socialization and embrace emotional expression, allowing their voices to be fully heard. Castle Miller's insights underscore the importance of bridging this emotional gap between genders, fostering a healthier environment for everyone in faith-based communities.

I think that either way, we pay a price and we get our moments to choose. - Becky Castle Miller

The pipeline works for women. The emotionally healthy pipeline works better for us and we can help, but they aren't letting women. This is very dangerous for the church and for any emotional abuse that can systemically be covered up going forward. - Becky Castle Miller

Timestamped summary of this episode:

00:00:02 - Introduction,

Lori introduces the podcast and the guest for the episode, Becky Castle Miller, a PhD student at Wheaton College studying emotions in the scriptures.

00:01:22 - Emotional Health in the Church,

Lori asks Becky about her perspective on recent events in the Southern Baptist Convention and how emotional health is important in faith spaces.

00:06:47 - Abuse and Trauma,

Becky shares her personal experience with abuse and trauma and how it intersects with emotional health and her research on emotions in the Gospel of Luke.

00:10:20 - Research on Emotions in the Gospel of Luke,

Becky discusses her multidisciplinary dissertation on emotions in the Gospel of Luke and how trauma and oppression may impact the emotions expressed in the text.

00:14:55 - Different Expressions of Emotions,

Lori and Becky talk about how emotions are expressed differently in different cultures and how emotions are currently being addressed in the church, including the call for more lament.

00:17:15 - The Secular View of Emotion,

Becky Castle Miller discusses how pastors often embrace Enlightenment rationality while condemning secularism, yet draw their ideas about emotion from secular philosophy rather than from Scripture or current scientific views.

00:18:39 - Emotion as a Constructed Concept,

Emotions are constructed from concepts, meaning that our minds evaluate a situation and choose and construct the right emotion that fits it. Each culture has its own set of emotion concepts, and emotion and rationality are part of the same process.

00:22:03 - Emotional Abuse and Gender,

Women are typically socialized to be more emotionally healthy than men, but patriarchal cultures force women to tightly control their emotions and distrust them. This results in women being dismissed when they express emotions, while men are allowed to be demonstrably emotional.

00:27:35 - Gendered Emotion and Emotional Maturity,

Emotions are socially constructed, and women are socialized into learning to notice, identify, and name their emotions, while men are not. Therefore, women have more emotional granularity than men. Men can have just as much emotional maturity if they learn these skills.

00:30:46 - Creating Change in Patriarchal Systems,

To create change in patriarchal systems, women need to reject the culture that socialized them and socialize themselves in new ways, where they learn to express and name their emotions and advocate passionately. This will result in rejection by the patriarchal system.

00:34:33 - The Need for Change in Faith-Based Communities,

Becky Castle Miller discusses the need for change in faith-based communities and institutions to address abuse and complicity. She highlights the importance of courage and prophetic voices in speaking out against injustice and promoting restoration and flourishing for all.

00:35:18 - The Threat to Christian Patriarchy,

Becky Castle Miller talks about the threat that the expression of women's emotions poses to Christian patriarchy. She references the emotional control that Christine Blasey Ford had to exhibit during the Brett Kavanaugh hearings and the complicity of institutions in protecting themselves.

00:40:27 - Writing for the Church,

Becky Castle Miller discusses the importance of making scholarship accessible to everyday Christians. She talks about her mentors, Scott McKnight and Isa McAuley, who write solid scholarship that is understandable for lay Christians. She emphasizes the need to write for the Church and make an impact on scholarship.

00:43:44 - Emotional Health and IFS,

Becky Castle Miller talks about the importance of emotional health and the Internal Family Systems (IFS) framework. She shares her experience in the Kineo cohort and mentions that she is an IFS practitioner who does emotion coaching from an IFS lens. She encourages people to be curious about their emotions and process them non-judgmentally.

00:47:22 - Self-Leadership and Curiosity,

The host encourages listeners to explore their own emotions with self-compassion and curiosity, and to seek support from others if

00:50:49 - Tips for Overcoming Obstacles,

In this chapter, Lori asks Becky for tips on overcoming obstacles in life. Becky explains the importance of acknowledging emotional health and prioritizing happiness. She also invites listeners to join the Difference Makers community and engage with other listeners.

00:51:58 - Joining the Difference Makers Community,

Lori encourages listeners to join the Difference Makers community, where they can engage with other listeners and access exclusive podcast episodes. She also explains the different membership levels and rewards, including the chance to vote on upcoming topics and receive a free mug.

00:53:24 - Prioritizing Emotional Health,

As the emotional health series continues, Lori reminds listeners of the importance of prioritizing emotional health and working towards happiness. She teases upcoming guests, including Jocelyn Chong, a corporate executive coach from Australia.

00:54:31 - Taking Care of Yourself,

Lori encourages listeners to take care of themselves emotionally and reflect on the topics discussed in the episode. She thanks listeners for tuning in and engaging with the podcast, and encourages them to continue making a difference in their own lives and communities.

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