How to Be an Adult

How to Be an Adult


How to Be a Leader (Ep. 10)

December 19, 2023

If you do adult life well enough, eventually you’ll be considered such an exemplar of adult behaviour that your boss will ask you to lead other people, or you will naturally end up being a leader by virtue of having more skill or knowledge. But promotions don’t usually come with an instruction manual, and too often, we see senior-level leaders thinking and behaving in intermediate-level ways. In today’s episode, we’ll discuss how:


  • Leadership involves having authority or knowledge that others lack. It requires being the first to act or take risks to show others the way.
  • Power itself is neutral — it depends how it’s used. Abuses of power have led people to fear it, but thoughtful leaders can wield it for good.
  • Good leaders follow their inner guidance to make tough choices when faced with problems that lack clear answers.
  • Leaders face uncertainty and criticism due to operating on the edge of knowledge and morality. Self-validation is key to withstanding public judgments.
  • Hierarchies are socially constructed and position says nothing about one’s inherent qualities. Wisdom and authority come with experience over time.
  • Servant leadership empowers followers to excel.
  • Anti-authoritarianism targets tyranny, not legitimate authority that’s based on expertise. Thoughtful leaders who question power structures should seek power.
  • Resentment sometimes stems from others’ ambitions, not the leader’s qualities.
  • Developing a confident leadership mindset requires reframing one’s self-concept through training like the kind that we offer.

Table of Contents:


00:00 – Intro

01:47 – Power often gets a bad rap

08:49 – Leaders go first

10:40 – Leaders must make decisions with their own inner guidance

23:16 – Leaders face a lot of trolley problems, where there’s no good solution, only trade offs

29:09 – Leaders attract envy and resentment — this is not personal, and comes with the territory

34:51 – Leaders have to speak publicly, so you should start getting comfortable with this

35:33 – Public speaking masterclass in January

37:58 – Outro


Listen above, on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify, or watch the full video on YouTube, free of third-party advertising. Remember to like, subscribe and share!



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