In this playful yet powerful episode of PsychedelicIQ: Guidance for Guides, Dr. Betty Martin—creator of the Wheel of Consent—joins host Gv Freeman to explore boundaries, touch, and trust in therapeutic and psychedelic relationships. Drawing on decades of experience as a chiropractor, somatic sex educator, and consent expert, Betty unpacks the four quadrants of the Wheel, shares how to create empowered agreements, and reveals the biggest mistakes practitioners make. A must-listen for any guide navigating intimacy, ethics, and embodied healing. Subscribe for more grounded wisdom on psychedelics, integration, and personal growth.

[00:00] Introduction and warm welcome to Dr. Betty Martin

[01:12] Betty’s background in chiropractic, sex education, and sacred intimacy

[03:00] Intention for the conversation: fun, depth, and presence

[04:38] The origin of the Wheel of Consent and the Three-Minute Game

[06:28] What the game reveals: confusion, clarity, consent, and embodiment

[07:59] The Wheel “rolling around the world” as a framework for human relating

[09:44] Global difficulty saying yes/no—especially around pleasure and help

[11:46] How childhood conditioning wires us for compliance over authenticity

[14:24] Healing happens relationally—some work must be done in connection

[16:20] Symptoms of over-giving: resentment, projection, burnout

[20:36] Learning to pause and notice: “Is this a gift I can give with a full heart?”

[21:38] Brene Brown wisdom: choose discomfort over resentment

[22:41] Overview of the four quadrants: Serve, Take, Accept, Allow

[28:34] Building body-awareness of “yes,” “no,” and healthy limits

[33:12] Why we don’t recommend playing the game sexually (at first)

[34:48] Slowing down, creating safety, and training personal responsibility

[35:56] Full heart vs. desire—how to discern genuine generosity

[37:33] Manipulation disguised as giving—watching for covert contracts

[40:05] Shadow sides of the Wheel: martyrdom, groping, victimhood, entitlement

[43:35] Consent vs. real agreement—beyond “just say yes”

[46:33] Practitioner quadrant: Serve—leaving your desires at the door

[50:15] Avoiding the “just get permission” model—why asking is not enough

[52:28] Co-creating safe support agreements before altered states

[55:00] Why clients can narrow agreements but not expand them mid-journey

[58:07] What to do when the facilitator becomes attracted to the client

[01:00:27] Erotic maturity = shelving your own desire when in service

[01:03:25] The “three yeses”: verbal, body, and gut

[01:04:35] Biggest mistake? Practitioners not knowing the power they hold

[01:07:50] Teaching clients how to ask—supporting their discomfort with slowness

[01:10:44] The real magic = helping clients come alive at their own pace

[01:12:16] Advice: Meet your emotional and sensual needs before holding space

[01:14:13] What the Wheel taught Betty: Shut up and listen to people’s wants

[01:15:35] Resources: Book, trainings, free videos at schoolofconsent.org

[01:16:23] Contact: bettymartin.org

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Free Chapter from the Wheel of Consent

Betty spent her childhood in a large family and her youth in experimental communities, learning about people in more groups than she can count. Founding a co-housing community with countless hours of meetings taught her the value of excellent facilitation. Now she enjoys helping others learn the skills she picked up along the way.

She graduated Chiropractic College in 1976 and practiced for almost 30 years, including several body-mind integration modalities. She has taught Peer Counseling for teens and adults, Educational Kinesiology and other bodywork for professionals, sexuality workshops for women, gender liberation, and boundary and communication workshops of many flavors, including Cuddle Party.

After retiring from her Chiropractic practice on Vashon Island, she moved into Seattle and opened a private practice as a relationship and intimacy coach, where she guided people through somatic experiences, sometimes erotic and sometimes not, so they could learn how to be comfortable in their own skin and experience pleasure in ways that supported their development.

It was during those years of working with hundreds of people that she noticed and developed the Wheel of Consent, a practice and a model of taking apart receiving and giving. She started sharing her experience with other practitioners and developed the 5-day training, Like a Pro, focusing on the Wheel, communication and professional standards.

In 2018 she co-founded the School of Consent, where she has trained numerous facilitators of Wheel of Consent workshops, and a handful of faculty to teach Like a Pro. She is happily handing over teaching to those she has trained, and these days contributes to other organizations’ trainings and presents to various professional groups. She also enjoys offering supervision and mentoring to practitioners.

She once again lives in community and is the proud mom of 3 and grandma of 2.

The post The Wheel of Consent w/ Betty Martin #19 first appeared on PsychedeliqIQ.