In this episode of A Really Good Enough Parent, I interview my baby brother, Hans Altwies.

To learn more about Hans and to read his incredible thoughts on parenting, memory, life, love and loss, please go to:

Hans the Father:

https://hansaltwies.substack.com/

Hans' essays during Stella's cancer treatments:

https://www.caringbridge.org/public/stellaaltwies

Hans and Stella on their annual slip and slide ride:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiuFPA8ZTg0

Hans the Actor:

(This is a personal favorite - Kristine) https://seattlemag.com/last-chance-see-iliad-rep/

https://www.seattleshakespeare.org/amy-thone-and-hans-altwies-featured-on-art-zone/

Hans the Builder:

https://lcmbuildersseattle.com/

A song featuring Stella:

https://josebold.bandcamp.com/track/lullaby-feat-stella-altwies

Here is what ChatGBT does with the episode transcript:

Parenting with Love and Loss: A Journey of Attachment and Resilience

Introduction:

Welcome to the Really Good Enough Parent Podcast, where we explore the joys and challenges of raising children. In today's episode, Kristine talks with her special guest who experienced the profound pain of loss while navigating the beautiful complexities of parenting. Hans Altwies, a loving father and a remarkable human being, joins his sister ARGEP host, Kristine Altwies, us to share his insights and experiences. Two years ago, Hans lost his 14 year old daughter, Stella, to cancer. Despite the heartbreak, he continues to embrace the role of a parent with unwavering love and dedication. In this episode, we delve into his parenting journey, particularly focusing on attachment parenting, and the profound impact it had on his relationship with his children.

The Power of Attachment Parenting:

Hans's parenting journey was characterized by a deep commitment to attachment parenting—a philosophy centered around fostering strong emotional bonds between parents and children. Hans and his ex-wife Amy, created an environment where their children felt safe, loved, and deeply connected. Attachment parenting, for them, meant incorporating their children into their lives rather than separating their worlds. They prioritized their children's needs, organizing their schedules and activities with the family unit in mind. The joy and fulfillment Hans found in parenting were palpable, and it influenced those around him to embrace the same spirit of enjoyment and connection.

Navigating the Challenges:

While attachment parenting brought immense joy, Hans acknowledges that it also presented challenges. Sleep deprivation, for instance, was a real struggle at times, particularly during the early years. But the exhaustion and occasional frustrations were overshadowed by the profound love and closeness they experienced as a family. Hans candidly shares moments of frustration, yet, he emphasizes that these challenges were part of the journey and did not detract from the overall beauty of attachment parenting.

A Village of Support:

Hans recognizes that parenting is not meant to be done alone. He notes that he and his ex-wife built a community of support by inviting friends and loved ones to be a part of their parenting journey. From close friends living with them to the involvement of their extended family, Hans and Amy created a village that nurtured their children and provided a sense of belonging. This sense of community extended beyond their home, as they actively engaged with their children's educational environments, becoming active participants in their development.

The Legacy of Stella:

Stella remains a constant presence in Hans's thoughts and reflections. Hans observes the milestones and achievements of Stella's peers, reminding him of the profound loss he and his family experienced. Despite the heartache, he finds solace in the enduring love and connection they shared. Stella's vibrant spirit and zest for life, described as a "wild party waiting to happen," continue to inspire Hans as he cherishes the memories and strives to honor her legacy.

Conclusion:

Hans Peter Altwies' parenting journey is a testament to the power of love, resilience, and attachment. Through the principles of attachment parenting, he created an environment wherein Stella and Charlotte felt cherished and supported. Despite the challenges and heartbreak, the bond between Hans and both his daughters, remains unbreakable. Hans's story reminds us of the importance of embracing the joy of parenting, building a community of support, and cherishing every precious moment with our children. Let us carry forward the lessons learned from Hans's experiences as we navigate our own parenting journeys, striving to become really good enough parents for our children.