My lifelong sense of exile and exclusion, specifically during Yizkor (memorial prayer) services at the synagogue is over.

For 58 years and 5 months, I had been excused from the room where I did not belong, but this time, I chose to stay behind. As others left, I experienced a profound sense of awe and found myself reflecting on my mother and the connection we shared.

Today I ponder on how I have earned my tears through love.

The unity within the sanctuary, knowing that each person present carried a missing part—their loved ones who have passed away. I felt solace and a deep sense of everlasting unity.

"Despite her absence, I laughed and cried, embracing the realization that I have earned my tears through loving fiercely."

– Karen Goldfinger Baker

This Week on Trauma Hiders Club Podcast:

·     Choosing to stay during Yizkor service

·     Feeling awe and reflection in the silence that followed

·     Memories of my mother and her direct way of speaking

·     Laughing and crying

·     Recognizing the love I've poured into my relationships

·     Finding unity and connection with fellow mourners

·     Understanding the missing part in each of us

·     The enduring legacy that unites us all

Related Episodes:

A Eulogy for My Mother

Grief and the Fear of Loss

Where High Achievers Get Through Shit - TOGETHER

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