Do you find it hard to trust God?

Do you believe in God’s promises when facing a difficult challenge?

Listen to Part 1 of the interview here:

We have a great show today about trusting God through challenges. Our guest Laurie Christine had to rely on God’s will for her firstborn son through a difficult diagnosis.  

Laurie Christine is an author, podcast host, certified biblical parenting coach, wife, and mom of four wild, loud, adventurous boys. Her podcast, Redeeming The Chaos, invites moms of boys to join her in the wild, wonderful adventure of raising courageous boys and connecting them with Christ.

Kelly Jo Wilson: Laurie, thank you so much for coming. I’m so happy to talk to you.

Laurie Christine: Hey Kelly, I am so happy to be here. This is so fun.

Kelly Jo Wilson: Yes, absolutely. Laurie and I are in a mastermind group together to help grow in our writing, influence among other people, and foster the call that God has given us. So, I’ve had the pleasure of knowing Laurie for a couple years now, and I am so happy to have you on here.

Laurie Christine: Thanks so much. Yeah. Three years. We’re coming up on three years here.

Kelly Jo Wilson: Three years. It’s so crazy! Laurie has a very interesting story that I just wanted to expand on a little bit. Laurie, your podcast tries to reach moms of boys, and I am one of your target people with two crazy boys. But before we get into a little bit of the story that you shared on your podcast, why don’t you just tell the audience, tell the listeners a little bit about yourself, your family, where you’re from and just a little bit more about you.

Part 1 of the interview with Laurie Christine

Laurie Christine: I am from Pennsylvania along with Kelly, and I am a mom of four boys and a wife. My boys are ages 6 to 12. We’re right in the middle of raising our kids. We’re out of the baby stage, the toddler stage, and I almost have a teenager, so that’s getting a little, I’m getting a little nervous about that.

Kelly Jo Wilson: A little nerve-wracking with that age for sure. But what a great range of ages. How fun is that? Right now as we record this it’s right before Christmas, so that probably looks really fun in your house.

Laurie Christine: It gets a little wild and crazy. They’re very excited. Lots of energy in our house.

Kelly Jo Wilson: I’m sure. It’s probably just wonderful. I wanted to expand a little bit on what you shared in your podcast episode about what happened with Elliot, your oldest son, and his journey through his heart condition.

The initial diagnosis shocked everyone.

 A lot of our listeners really struggle with trusting God and facing different challenges that are very difficult. We do have a lot of moms that also listen. If you don’t mind, why don’t you tell us about that journey with Elliot whenever he was very young and expand to let the listeners know about your journey through that too?

Laurie Christine: Our oldest son, who is now 12, was born with a congenital heart defect, and we were not aware of it at the time he was born. We found out when he was about three months old. Then we took him to the cardiologist and found out that he was in congestive heart failure, and you know, that’s not the news you wanna hear about your three-month-old little boy.

That’s something that you hear about older people. Congestive heart failure, isn’t that an older person’s disease or ailment? We were told that he would need heart surgery within a month.

When he was four months old, he had his first heart surgery. We didn’t know at the time, but he would end up, over the next two and a half to three years, having four heart surgeries to fix the problem in his heart.

It was a scary time. We didn’t know what to expect, but looking back, we saw God’s grace through all of it. I think one of the ways that we saw God’s kindness and His grace in our lives was that we didn’t know everything that was gonna happen. we didn’t know, we couldn’t see the whole picture. We only knew that he had this heart defect and he would need one heart surgery.

The easy fix turned into a rare condition.

The cardiologist said, “oh, you know, it’s not that big of a deal. You know, this will be an easy fix. Now, look up this one thing.” We went home and Googled it and it was a rare heart condition. I said, wait a minute. He didn’t say anything about it being rare. What’s going on?

It just seemed we learned a little bit more with each step of the journey. We could see God gave us grace for that next step. We just saw God’s kindness in that.

He had his first heart surgery. We found out during the surgery that the condition was a little bit worse than they had originally thought. They couldn’t perform the procedure they thought they could.

They did a palliative procedure to hold him over until he was a little older. We were disappointed they couldn’t fix his heart then but thought it’ll just be one more, and then they’ll be able to fix it.

“This is the last one.”

During the next surgery, we thought it was the last thing that’s gonna have to have to happen. This is the last one.

In the second surgery, they went in to do the repair, and we found out it’s actually way worse than we thought.

They told us, “you’re gonna have to have two more surgeries.”

God gives grace one moment at a time.

Looking back, I think if we knew, here’s what you’re gonna have to go through, that this is serious, and he’s going to have four heart surgeries before he turns five. I think that would’ve been so overwhelming.

Kelly Jo Wilson: Oh yeah.

Laurie Christine: But just knowing one step, then the next step, like, “okay, what do we need today? What do we need to do next?” I think it was God giving us His grace one moment at a time.

Kelly Jo Wilson: I think that’s such a good thing to touch on because, you know, at the moment, it probably didn’t seem like that at first. Because you have that fear. As a nurse, I’ve seen many patients and families handle terrifying news and diagnoses.

But like you said if you knew everything at once? It’s so overwhelming already, just one element of it. Especially you being a new mom, and your son is being diagnosed with anything, any type of condition is very scary. But I think once you realize that it’s a journey, you have a different perspective. Initially, that is something God does share in His grace. He shares that preparation for each step, which I think is such a great way to look at it.

But at the time, were you feeling anxious? What were you going through at the time, initially in that office when they were telling you?

Trusting God through fear and anxiety

Laurie Christine: Yeah, there were definitely times of fearfulness and anxiety. But also times of just overwhelming peace too. In situations where I would’ve thought I would be so upset or worked up, I could feel God’s peace in my heart, helping me to think rationally and take the next step.

But yes, for sure, there were definitely a lot of times when we didn’t know. We didn’t know what the outcome of the surgeries would be. We didn’t know what his long-term prognosis would be. There were a lot of times that I was fearful and anxious.

I tend to be an anxious person in general. Situations like this kinda escalate those feelings of anxiety.

Do not fear, for I am with you.

But during those times, I really just clung to God’s promises in scripture. Throughout the Bible, there are so many times where God says don’t fear.

Do not fear, do not worry. I went through and did a word search in a Bible app. I just looked up all the passages and verses when God says, do not fear or do not worry. There’s a whole bunch, but I came up with maybe 8 or 10, and I printed them out on card stock. I carried those around with me for those years. 

I just had this pile of Bible verses and would read them, meditate on them, and just focus on those promises God had made.

One in particular that I loved was Isaiah 41:10, which said,

“Do not fear for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

So many times and in many verses, I found the reason to not be afraid. God wasn’t saying, don’t fear because nothing bad is ever gonna happen. Or don’t be afraid because everything’s gonna be totally fine.

That wasn’t the promise. The promise was, do not fear because I am with you.

Laurie Christine: God’s presence, the reminder of God’s presence, and clinging to that promise of God’s presence was something that just helped to get me through those periods of fear and anxiety.

Cling to God’s promises.

Kelly Jo Wilson: That is so wonderful. It’s so reassuring. I think it’s so great that you printed out the scripture that you’re like, no matter what, he’s coming with me in my purse.

But I think it’s a really important point to make sure that we hold His promises close. That’s what’s so great about having His word at our fingertips. In free Bible apps and things like that, we can go right to the source and remember what He tells us.

But you also pointed out how He says, don’t fear because I’m with you. That comfort He gives you to know you’re not alone is so profound. It’s just so amazing. I’m so happy you felt that in those moments. I think that’s important.

How was it between you and your husband? Were you two handling things? I would imagine handling as a unit, but sometimes things like that happen, and it’s almost like a grieving process. Because you’re trying to handle what’s coming at you, and both of you are probably taking things in a little bit differently.

So how did you two walk together on that path? Was that a challenge in itself, or did you guys have a connection?

Complete surrender of our son in God’s hands.

Laurie Christine: I felt like we were on the same page. I feel it probably brought us closer together during that time.

We had to trust God and put our son in God’s hands, praying for him and our families surrounded us with support.

I wouldn’t say that it caused extra stress between my husband, and I think that it was something God probably used during that time to help us. Connect in a common cause almost. A lot of times, there’s conflict. If there’s conflict in your life, or in a marriage, many times it’s between the two of you. The conflict gets between you.

But when the conflict is outside of you, and a difficult thing to go through that was outside us, we were going through it together. I felt that was helpful.

But, just talking about trusting God, I think my faith was challenged.

I really had to wrestle with, do I trust God?

It was strengthened but challenged at the same time. I really had to wrestle with, do I trust God?

Do I trust that he is good?

Do I trust his character and that he wants what’s best?

I never doubted his power, which was interesting. I never doubted God’s power because I knew that God was powerful, and I knew he could heal my son.

He had the ability to work through the surgeons and allow everything to work out how we were hoping. But I didn’t know if that was his will. I didn’t know if he would allow something more tragic to happen so that we would be drawn closer to him.

God works in mysterious ways. I sometimes found myself trusting in the surgeons more than in God. I thought the surgeons had my son’s best interest in mind and they want to heal my son. They want to fix his heart.

But I didn’t know if they could. I didn’t know if they had the power. I knew that the surgeons would fix Elliot’s heart if they could.

Trust God could, but unsure if He would.

But on the other hand, I knew that God could do it if he were willing and would do it. I just had to trust in God’s character, you know?

In the Bible, through scripture, what is God’s character? God is loving. God is good. Even if this doesn’t feel like a good thing in our lives.

Even if this doesn’t feel like a loving thing for God to do, I know that this is true of him, and I’m gonna continue to trust that it’s true no matter what the outcome.

Kelly Jo Wilson: That is so hard to do. Because if you look at anybody in a situation like that, similar, you could say, Yes. I love how you said, I know God could if he would, and that’s the thing. We know God can, but you trusting him isn’t if he can fix him. It’s trusting him if he’s going to fix it or not.

So I can see where you could say, I know the surgeons really want to heal him, but if God doesn’t, I need to trust that he is taking us through a different journey here.

We didn’t choose it, but He gave us grace for it.

That is so hard, especially as a new mother. I’m sure you had plenty of people saying, I don’t know if I could go through that. Because when it’s yourself versus your son, it’s so different, right?

I mean, it’s just so different. You would probably die for your son, you know? So it’s just a different kind of thing. It definitely takes you through a different trust journey there.

Laurie Christine: It’s interesting that you said about people’s comments, “how do you handle a situation like that? How could you have? I could never go through something like that.” We had people say that to us, and I just had to chuckle a little bit cause it’s not like we chose this.

I don’t feel God chose us to go through this because we had any special abilities or special qualities. God gives you the grace to go through what he gives you, what he puts in your life. He gives you grace when it’s needed. People would be like, “oh, I could never handle that situation.”

It’s when you’re forced to handle it, then you do.

Trust God’s grace for today.

God doesn’t give you grace for the things that might happen, or the things that you’re worried about might happen. He gives you the grace for today. He gives you grace for what is happening right now. So you take the next step, and continue to trust him.

We were thankful for God’s faithfulness in being who he is and who he said he is. His character, his goodness, and his lovingness.

Kelly Jo Wilson: Absolutely. I think it’s so important to really focus on his word and what he tells you. Because it’s so easy, like you said how you felt anxious and fearful, to listen to everything else, such as people close to you who generally have good intentions.

It’s easy to get distracted by your feelings and your emotions in situations like that, especially with your baby boy. But it’s just like you carried the promise cards around. I love that so much. I think it’s so strong.

Even when you probably felt weaker than you ever felt in your whole life.

What ended up being the outcome? You guys realized pretty early that this wasn’t gonna be a one-time thing. That this was a journey. What was the outcome of Elliot’s journey? How is he doing now?

A blessing emerged.

Laurie Christine: That’s a great question. So after his first two surgeries, we ended up getting a second opinion from a different cardiologist who sent us to a different Children’s Hospital in Boston.

We went to Boston Children’s Hospital, the best in the world for pediatric cardiology. We were so thankful that God brought her into the situation, and we connected with her because, in Boston, they were able to repair his heart.

They were able to make the repair that the other hospital couldn’t. And so, after his third surgery, Elliot was two. Anatomically it looks very different, but it’s functioning properly.

Trusting God through the unexpected

His fourth surgery was actually very unexpected. That was when he was five we had another opportunity to trust God. We thought this was behind us. We thought that we were moving along.

When he was five, one of the valves in his heart which had been replaced during the previous surgery, failed.

He needed a valve replaced. We went to Boston again. I know Kelly, you know all about cath labs, but for those of you listening who have no medical experience, basically, they were going to go in through an artery with this long tube and put a valve into his heart and not even have to cut open his chest at all.

That was the plan.

They did the heart catheterization and put the new valve in during that procedure. But he developed an aneurysm on his pulmonary artery.

An aneurysm is basically a bulge, like a weakness in the artery. It got bumped or knicked, and this big bubble was a weak spot. It’s a pretty dangerous situation.

There were a couple of days he was under general anesthesia and intubated, so for two days, we waited to see if it would resolve itself. He was in a very fragile state.

Then the surgeon came in and told us we would have to operate again. We’ll have to go in and do a fourth open heart surgery to repair what had just happened.

If you’d like to hear more about Laurie’s son’s journey, visit her blog posts Can I Trust God with My Son’s Heart? – RTC 52 and My Miracle Baby.

Visit Laurie’s podcast Redeeming the Chaos.

If you want to learn more about trusting God through challenges and the perfect love He has for you, visit the post How to Trust God with the Hard Stuff.

Listen to Part 2 of this episode here

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