When I was two, my mother forced me into summer swimming lessons.It was at the community pool, and she'd deliberately park far from the entrance.The blacktop was hot, and I cried in pain as I burned my feet.The only sandals I got were the ones she hit

When my mother wasn't dumping me in daycare while she bowled, it was in front of the TV.The television wasn't just my babysitter, but it was my teacher.I watched Mr. Rogers and Sesame Street and Romper Room.Learning really stupid things.One lesson was

I used to boycott all of the companies that my father, the corporate attorney, was fired from.Instead of whacking off to Playboy bunnies, I whacked off to Penthouse pets.Instead of eating Wendy's heart attacks on a bun, I ate McDonalds or Burger King st

In addition to her depression, my mother suffered from seasonal affective disorder.And she was living in the Pacific Northwest, so the Winters were excessively dark compared to here.Not that I was going to invite her to move here.So, I said "Turn on a

My school had a senior project requirement.A brief internship at some business or organization you're interested in.I was interested in Science, so I planned a few weeks in their medical technology lab.Instead, my mother conspired with the program coor

LisaLizzie RichardSerendipidy Norval JoeTom Planet ZThe next topic is All our tomorrowsRICHARDBeansI has beans every day, plenty of fibre in them, see. Scientists say it's good for you, all I knows is they makes me f

Someone complained about Abraham Lincoln and his Gettysburg Address being on display in a university library, so the staff removed them, saying it had been part of a temporary exhibit, even though they had been on display for years. Then, at another libra

Someone smashed my car window and took some stuff."Yeah, it happens," said the police.They gave me some paperwork to fill out."Leave the doors unlocked," they said. "And don't leave anything in your car."My insurance company said "The deductible is fi

I remember a fireworks cake, long ago.When I was still too young to know better."Those fireworks are for you," we'd say.The bruises on my face still sore from whatever transgression against her fragile, bitter ego.There's still a bit of red glitter in

When trailblazer Senator Betty Riley first went to Washington, she railed against the old men she was forced to suffer at the hands of.The sexist harassment and abuse, their constantly falling asleep in meetings, and carelessly letting their staffers run