Hour 1:

Vermont wants to pass a bill to ban the use of cell phones until you are 21. The government loves to tell you what you can and cannot do. Carlos needs to clean his search history. Melissa has no idea about #BlackTwitter. Ricky Gervais causes waves at the Golden Globes awards by roasting Hollywood. Once again, search history reveals a feral cats stomach. Melissa doesn't know how to host a party with hors d'oeuvres.

Hour 2:

The unluckiest man in the United States. Taking tests stink. Equity and equality are not the same thing. Did Hillary Clinton really love Bill when they first met or was it a business agreement? Victimhood is now rewarded.