“I have friends and a vibrator, what are you for?”

In which we discuss breakups and relationships. Join us in our journey of the trials and tribulations of love!

References for Breakups

Lucy is live and in person and demands she only be touched with consent! (Consent is always relevant, consent is sexy.) She is here, newly single, to discuss what it’s like existing post breakup. How do you readjust to being single?

But inversely… what the fuck is it like being in a relationship? It’s weird and uncomfortable, and we don’t know what the rules are!

Lucy is adamant that when you want to be in a relationship it doesn’t feel like a chore to talk to them. When you do feel that way, you’re probably forcing a relationship that isn’t supposed to happen. Thankfully, she never feels like it’s a chore to talk to her precious Throbbers… not like we’d let her leave codependent as we are.

Knowing It’s Over

Using your own feelings as a gauge is sometimes hard, as Sissel knows, and it’s hard to let go of something familiar. But sometimes, breaking up can be a relief.

Hannah’s experience with the end of one of her relationships was unfortunately passive-aggressive. She didn’t want to end the relationship but she was resenting having to spend time with him, and didn’t want to be around him. So she ended up resenting him more and more and being bitchy until the relationship was over. She regrets her behavior now. She was extremely relieved when it was over. It ended in a hug.

Sissel, on the other hand, was extremely excited by the end of one relationship, and went on a bougie grocery shopping trip to celebrate, and called her best friend and talked to her the whole time about how happy she was that she’d finally broken up with him. Her relationship ended in sex. She is Sissel after all.

Gina felt it was a weight off her shoulders, but she also drank a lot during the whole process. Kelly came over to visit her and found her crying on the floor watching Fleabag. (We highly recommend it. It will destroy you in the best possible way.)

How You Know It’s Over A Breakups Story

Lucy was really struggling with her last relationship because she was debating if it was a phase of ambivalence she was experiencing or if the relationship was actually over for her. The most difficult thing was that when she did break up with him, she didn’t have a definite reason why.

Kelly asked Gina if she felt her relationship became a chore at the end. Gina said chore wasn’t quite the right word. They were both going through a lot of shit and not going through it together, and feeling like the relationship had been over for awhile with no one admitting it. She thinks she was worse off than she wanted to admit when the relationship ended, but she is more comfortable being single because that’s what the majority her life has been. When she finally was over the feelings of recovery, the thing she really started missing was sex. The more emotional things, someone to drive her home after a hard day for instance, she got over that way quicker.

Lucy’s primary love language is quality time, and after her breaks she always misses the quality time she spent with the person she shared a relationship with. She always reaches out to people after a breakup that she thinks can fill that void but they never quite do, because it’s just a different relationship.