No, people. No, Matthew McConaughey is not hurting for money. Sure, he earned an upfront salary of only $200,000 for Dallas Buyers Club—not nearly enough to keep an A-lister in marijuana and bongos. And yes, he just shot a commercial for Lincoln, part of a multi-year deal that seems—seems—to demote him to the farm leagues, warming the B-list benches with the likes of The Silver Fox. 

But all that does not mean that McConaughey is somehow lurching into the same financial straits as, say, a Nic Cage. He's Alright Alright Alright. I swear. In this latest episode, I explain precisely why megastars like him are shilling for cars that haven't been cool since 1989. And doesn't necessarily have anything to do with desperation.

Also in this episode!

• Baby Vegas is back and has his own Joan Rivers story. I, however, have a better Joan Rivers story.
• I explain why stars keep taking nekkid photos, even though we civilians don't even take nekkid photos anymore.
• Your letters! Read aloud! In a brand-new segment of Burn After Reading!
• And so much more.