“What people start to notice is there are no facts for what they are thinking. Is just that they thought it, and so because they thought it that’s the fact they use for to continue to think or believe the way they do. ” – John Stoker
Sponsors

I invite you to show your support for Lisa and this free podcast by visiting the sponsor links and checking out the products and services.

Amazon: Join Amazon Prime for a Free 30 Day Trial

Lisa B. Marshall: Listen or read your free excerpt of Smart Talk or watch the trailer!

Lisa B. Marshall: Be the speaker you always wanted to be! Learn more about Powerful Presenter

In my Smart Talk Episode 079 conversation with John Stoker you’ll hear about:

• 
  
• When it comes to risky conversations most of us don’t have the skills and experience to carry on a real conversation.
  
• What is a real talk and what he means staying above the line
  
• The SOS tool to help us recognize and suspend our emotions.
  

Overcoming Fake Talk

Have you ever found yourself dancing around an issue because you weren’t sure exactly how to address it?  Have you ever ignored an issue for so long it has becomes an unmentionable – you feel like you can’t bring it up every again?  Have you ever wanted desperately to repair a broken relationship but just aren’t sure what to say.

Today I invited John R Stoker who will give us practical advice and effective strategies for turning potentially challenging confrontations into rewarding exchanges that foster collaboration, improve performance, and achieve results.

John Stoker is the author of “Overcoming Fake Talkâ€Â and the president of DialogueWORKS, Inc. He has been in organizational development work for over 20 years helping leaders and individual contributors to learn the skills to assist them in achieving superior results.  He has experience in the fields of leadership, change management, dialogue, critical thinking, conflict resolution, and emotional intelligence, and has worked with such companies as Cox Communications, Lockheed Martin, Honeywell, and AbbVee.

John’s book: Overcoming Fake Talk: How to Hold REAL Conversations that Create Respect, Build Relationships, and Get Results
 We’d love to hear from you! What questions or tips do you have about negotiation?  Let us know in the comments.
John’s recommendations

Favorite Quote(s):

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” George Bernard Shaw

Favorite app /business resource(s):

LinkedIn

Book pick(s):

Stephen Covey:The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change

Peter Senge:The Fifth Discipline: The Art & Practice of The Learning Organization

Join Us!

Join Smart Talk Nation and get updates on upcoming interviews and submit your questions, make suggestions for future guests, and we’ll give you credit on the podcast!

var hc_shortcode_connector = {"IntegrationID":"14","Name":"Smart Talk Nation Short","Type":"Hybrid","TyPage":"","MailingList":"","GotoWebinar":"","Wordpress":"","wysija_list":null,"FacebookCTA":"","FormCTA":"","oneClickCTA":"","template_shortcode":"0","template_widget":"0","allow_registration":"0","registration_role":"subscriber","custom_code":" \n\n\n\n\n\n\n Name: Email: \n \n","apiConnection":"0","emailOnly":"0","template_lightbox":"0","custom_form":"Header text\r\n<br\/><br>\r\nName: <input type=\\"text\\" name=\\"name\\" \/> <br\/>\r\nEmail: <input type=\\"text\\" name=\\"email\\"\/> <br\/>\r\n<a href=\\"#\\" class=\\"hc_custom_form_submit\\"> Connect <\/a> ","custom_fbnot":"Header text <br\/>\r\n<div class=\\"fb-login-button\\" data-scope=\\"email\\" size=\\"large\\">\r\n\tConnect\r\n<\/div>","custom_fbyes":"Connect\r\n<br\/><br\/>\r\n<a class=\\"hc_fb_form_connector_submit\\" href=\\"#\\">Connect<\/a>","custom_width":"500","is_user_template":"0","custom_ty_page":"","ad_ty_page":null};
hc_connectors.push(hc_shortcode_connector);
var hc_rand_id = 7752;
hc_rand_ids.push(hc_rand_id);

#hc_template_wrapper7752 p strong {
color: #ffffff !important;
}

#hc_template_wrapper7752 .fb_iframe_widget iframe {
position:static !important;
}

#hc_template_wrapper7752 a.navButton img {
border: none !important;
vertical-align: middle !important;
}

.hc_frontend_ajax_loading {
display: none !important;
}
#hc_template_wrapper7752 {
/* font-family:verdana; */
font-size:12px;
line-height: 140%;
height: auto;
margin-top: 10px;
margin-bottom:10px;
/* if squeeze page, fix position to middle of screen */
}

#poweredBy7752 {
width: 100%;
text-align:left;
margin:0px auto;
}

#hc_template_wrapper7752 div {
line-height: 140%;
}
#hc_template_wrapper7752 .navButton {

/* button font size and padding settings from slider */
/* button builder, not custom image */
padding-left: 22px;
padding-right: 22px;
padding-top: 7px;
padding-bottom: 7px;
font-size: 17px;
-moz-box-shadow:inset 0px 1px 0px 0px #FFFFFF;
-webkit-box-shadow:inset 0px 1px 0px 0px #FFFFFF;
box-shadow:inset 0px 1px 0px 0px #FFFFFF;
-moz-border-radius:6px;
-webkit-border-radius:6px;
border-radius:6px;
border:1px solid #000000;
display:inline-block;
color:#ffffff !important;
font-family:Arial;
font-weight:bold;
text-decoration:none;
text-shadow:1px 1px 0px #000000;
margin-bottom:5px;
background:-webkit-gradient( linear, left top, left bottom, color-stop(0.05, #be001c ), color-stop(1, #ED0024 ) );
background:-moz-linear-gradient( center top, #be001c 5%, #ED0024 100% );
filter:progid:DXImageTransform.Microsoft.gradient(startColorstr='#ED0024', endColorstr='#be001c');
background-color:#ED0024;
line-height: 140%;
}
#hc_template_wrapper7752 .navButton:hover {
background:-webkit-gradient( linear, left top, left bottom, color-stop(0.05, #be001c), color-stop(1, #be001c) );
background:-moz-linear-gradient( center top, #be001c 5%, #be001c 100% );
filter:progid:DXImageTransform.Microsoft.gradient(startColorstr='#be001c', endColorstr='#be001c');
background-color:#ED0024;
}
#hc_template_wrapper7752 input[type="text"] {

border-collapse: collapse;
margin:2px 5px 5px 5px;
font-size:15px;
padding-top:5px;
padding-bottom:5px;
padding-left:3px;
padding-right:3px;
border-width: 1px;
border-style: solid;
border-radius:5px;
/* line-height: 30px; */
box-sizing: border-box;
display: inline !important;
box-shadow: none;
-moz-box-sizing: border-box;
vertical-align:middle !important;
}
#hc_template_wrapper7752 p {
line-height: 140% !important;
font-size: 18px !important;
color : #ffffff;
font-family: berlin Sans FB;
margin-bottom: 5px;
padding:0px;
text-align:left; text-shadow:none; clear:none !important;
}
#hc_template_wrapper7752 p::before {
content: "";
width: auto !important;
overflow: hidden;
}
#hc_template_wrapper7752 .optinWrapper iframe {
width: 100% !important;
background: transparent !important;
padding:0px !important;
margin:0px !important;
}
#hc_template_wrapper7752 p.connectorHeadline {
line-height: 1.2em !important;
margin-bottom: 10px !important;
padding-top: 0px !important;
text-shadow:none; margin-left:5px !important;
margin-right: 5px !important;
margin-top:5px !important;
padding-left:0px !important;
padding-bottom:0px !important;
padding-right:0px !important;
overflow:visible !important;
}
#hc_template_wrapper7752 ul {
margin-left: 10px !important;
padding: 0 !important;
margin-top:20px !important;
border:0px !important;
margin-bottom:20px !important;
font-size: 18px;
width:auto !important;
text-align:left !important;
}
#hc_template_wrapper7752 ul li strong {
color: #ffffff !important;
}
#hc_template_wrapper7752 ul li {
margin: 0 !important;
padding: 2px 0 2px 35px !important;
list-style: none;
background: url('http://smarttalksuccess.com/wp-content/plugins/hybridconnect/images/ticks/1.png') no-repeat top left !important;
line-height:140%;
color: #ffffff !important;
font-family:berlin Sans FB;
border-bottom:0px;
border-top:0px;
font-size: 18px;
list-style-type: none !important;
text-shadow:none; background-size: 32px !important;
background-position-y: 0px !important;
background-position-x: 0px !important;

}

#hc_template_wrapper7752 img {
background:none !important;
box-shadow:none !important;
background-color:none !important;
}
#hc_template_wrapper7752 img.leftArrow {
padding: 0px;
margin-right:10px;
border:0px;
background:transparent;
float:left;
}
#hc_template_wrapper7752 img.rightArrow {
padding: 0px;
margin:0px;
border:0px;
background:transparent;
float:right;
margin-left:10px;
}
#hc_template_wrapper7752 img.optinGraphic {
z-index: 100;
position: relative;
display: block;
width: 200px;
display:none; }
div.graphicWrapper7752 {
float:right;
position:relative;
display:none; margin-left:0px !important;
margin-right:0px !important;
margin-top: -30px !important;
}
img.optinGraphic {
border:0px !important;
margin:0px !important;
padding:0px !important;
}
img.leftArrowFacebook {
margin-right:5px !important;
}
div.connectorWrapper7752 {

box-sizing:border-box !important;
border:0px solid #000000 !important;
/* if radius set*/
border-radius:12px; /* if not gradient then use background colour selector */
font-size:12px;
/* if gradient selected then apply gradient CSS */
background: -moz-linear-gradient(top, #FFFFFF 0%, #EDEDED 100%); /* FF3.6+ */
background: -webkit-gradient(linear, left top, left bottom, color-stop(0%,#EDEDED), color-stop(100%,#FFFFFF)); /* Chrome,Safari4+ */
background: -webkit-linear-gradient(top, #FFFFFF 0%,#EDEDED 100%); /* Chrome10+,Safari5.1+ */
background: -o-linear-gradient(top, #FFFFFF 0%,#EDEDED 100%); /* Opera 11.10+ */
background: -ms-linear-gradient(top, #FFFFFF 0%,#EDEDED 100%); /* IE10+ */
background: linear-gradient(to bottom, #FFFFFF 0%,#EDEDED 100%); /* W3C */
filter: progid:DXImageTransform.Microsoft.gradient( startColorstr='#FFFFFF', endColorstr='#EDEDED',GradientType=0 ); /* IE6-8 */

background-repeat:no-repeat;
background-color: #FFFFFF;
/* box shadow CSS */
border-collapse:separate;
box-shadow: 2px 2px 17px #cccccc;
-moz-box-shadow: 2px 2px 17px #cccccc;
-webkit-box-shadow: 2px 2px 17px #cccccc;

}
#hc_template_wrapper7752 div.optinWrapper7752 {
border-bottom-left-radius:12px; border-bottom-right-radius:12px; background-color: transparent; padding-bottom:20px; }

#hc_template_wrapper7752 div.connectorDescriptionText7752 {
}

#hc_template_wrapper7752 div.connectorDescriptionText7752 p {
margin-bottom: 5px;
margin-top:5px;
margin-left:5px;
margin-right:5px;
padding:0px;
}

#hc_template_wrapper7752 div.connectorDescriptionText7752 p:first-child {
padding:0px !important;
}

#hc_template_wrapper7752 p.connectorCallToAction {
text-shadow:none; padding:0px !important;
}

#hc_template_wrapper7752 div.optinPosition7752 {
margin-left:auto !important; margin-right:auto !important; }
#hc_template_wrapper7752 div.facebookPosition7752 {
margin-left:auto !important; margin-right:auto !important; }
#hc_template_wrapper7752 div.oneClickPosition7752 {
margin-left:auto !important; margin-right:auto !important; }

#hc_template_wrapper7752 div.optinPositionInput7752 {
text-align:center; }

#hc_template_wrapper7752 div.emailInputField7752 {
display:inline; }

#hc_template_wrapper7752 div.emailButtonContainer7752 {
display:inline; text-align:center; }

#hc_template_wrapper7752 .ppWrapper {
display:none; }

#hc_template_wrapper7752 .privacyPolicy {
padding-left:10px;
padding-right:10px;
margin-left:5px; text-shadow:none;
}

#hc_template_wrapper7752 .privacyPolicy span {
font-weight:normal; font-family: Arial;
font-size: 12px;
color: #000000;
margin-top:10px;
margin-bottom:0px;
margin-left:0px;
margin-right:0px;
line-height:25px;
}

#hc_template_wrapper7752 .privacyPolicy img {
vertical-align:middle;
}

#hc_template_wrapper7752 .privacyPolicyEmail {
margin-top:5px;
}

#hc_template_wrapper7752 .privacyPolicyFacebook {
margin-top:5px;
}

#hc_template_wrapper7752 .privacyPolicyOneClick {
margin-top:5px;
}

#hc_template_wrapper7752 .loading-icon {
z-index:300;
border:1px solid #000000;
position:absolute;
left:50%;
top:50%;
width:100px;
margin-top:-35px;
margin-left:-60px;
background: #cccccc;
border: 2px dashed #222222;
padding:0px 10px 10px 10px !important;
display:none;
}
#hc_template_wrapper7752 .loading-icon p {
font-size:12px;
font-family:Verdana;
color:#000000;
text-shadow:none !important;
}

/*************************************************************************************************
SQUEEZE PAGE STYLES
/* if squeeze page then apply styles */

/*loading icon styles */

/**********************
END OF SQUEEZE PAGE STYLES */

0


 Name: Email:
 

Signing you up!

Advance Your Career. Join Smart Talk Nation.

Sign Me Up!







We hate spam just as much as you

Signing you up!

Advance Your Career. Join Smart Talk Nation.

Sign Up Via Facebook!

We hate spam just as much as you

Signing you up!

Advance Your Career. Join Smart Talk Nation.

Click Here - One Click Sign Up!







We hate spam just as much as you

Get your personalized copy of Lisa’s latest book!

Do you struggle with difficult conversations?  Do you procrastinate when it comes to delivering feedback? Do you know how to effectively persuade and influence others?  Learn this and more in Smart Talk. Get your personally signed copy today!

 Buy Now!  

The post John Stoker: Overcoming Fake Talk appeared first on Smart Talk.