To say that quarantine has been difficult is truly an understatement; the fabric of our society has been stretched out to allow for social distancing, which just like a real fabric, if you were to stretch it out, it would become tense.

 

And that’s really been the color, the mood, the best way I could describe these last few months; tense. Tension from not knowing, tension from learning more, tension again from NOT knowing, then tension from learning and knowing more and more.  And even during the lull of a peaceful afternoon or a quiet morning, you are not fully released of that tension. It’s always present 

 

My science brain can’t help but think that mother nature is somehow after us; it wants us to stop messing with the climate. Maybe it’s just me, but it feels like the earth is saying; STOP MESSING WITH ME! Which I get! Its understandable! We have been toying with the earth too long, we invade spaces where humans do not normally live, and because we do not focus on preserving and instead we pillage, something is going to give! 

 

Which brings me back to that tension. It’s a new kind of tension and stress. It’s a very unique form of tiredness. And of course it is, because in our lifetimes we have never seen this kind of outbreak and pandemic! We are not used to this! However a challenge is a challenge, and we face them daily. And for those of us who live in “1st world” countries, the idea of comfort is a fallacy 

 

We are not guaranteed safety. We are not guaranteed security, we are not guaranteed comfort.  

 

Amazon, online shopping, door dash, uber… all of these companies want to make us believe that its a guarantee; they create a false sense of security and expectation in the fact that things SHOULD be easier than they are.  Just like in the shows we (used) to watch more regularly, and how the main characters just “naturally” have the stuff they have, and it all seems effortless.  Yet you and I struggle economically, and we know families that are in much worse shape than us, and there are also families that we know are in a much better financial position than us.  But the expectation, the assumption that “well you can get there on your own”, that YOU can achieve YOUR level of comfort and YOUR definition of success that’s within YOUR grasp is an illusion.  

 

My car has been in the shop for 3 weeks now; i've had to uber to work (with my children) for two weeks, in the middle of a pandemic. Fortunately i'm only 5 minutes away, so the rides are short, and we sanitize after. In that time ive meet people from all over the world! Men and women who each have a unique story, some about job loss, some about supporting other family members, others who have lost their own businesses.  During this carless time I’ve used grocery delivery, which is delivered by someone whom I don’t know, used uber eats, which is again delivered by someone I don’t know, and these were all prepared and picked by other people whom I don’t know. And those fruits and vegetables and meat were all produced and picked by people who work in fields and meat processing plants, whom I don’t know, and who statistically speaking are immigrants who work in difficult conditions and are underpaid. 

 

My life, especially my life these past three weeks, has been reliant and has depended upon the work and sweat of others. Without the labor of others, there’s no way I could have facilitated and managed to just get to work and keep my job and put food on my table! Much less do anything outside of that! And now my safety and my health and the health and safety of my children is reliant upon the labor and purposeful intentions of others to wear masks and keep themselves sanitized and healthy!  I need people!