Nothing quite like a day at the Beach. Roy Scheider in Jaws (1975)

Vacation, all I ever wanted
Vacation, had to get away
Vacation, meant to be spent alone
Vacation, all I ever wanted
Vacation, had to get away
Vacation, meant to be spent alone

The Go Go’s

As we celebrate the end of Summer, the Scariest Things is offering up a menu of cautionary tales. Going on Vacation may be the last thing you do. The world hates travelers. Nature is out to get you. That concierge is out to get you. The tour guide has no idea what they are doing. That friendly local just might be a cultist.

Really… stay home. You’ll be safer at home. Until, of course, the home invasion begins. I take that back. Hit the road! See the great sites of the world! But, take these survival tips:

• Don’t take an exclusive trip, if offered, no matter who offers.
  
• If a sexy couple wants to join your tour group… Pass.
  
• Don’t go sex touring in Slovakia! (Probably best not to go sex touring period.)
  
• There is always something wrong with the perfect beach.
  
• There is always something wrong with an all-exclusive resort.
  
• Don’t swim in tropical rivers.
  
• Don’t go budget. The tour is probably doomed.
  
• Don’t go luxury. The tour is probably doomed.
  
• Research whether cannibals happen to be living nearby.
  

This trope overlaps with many other sub-genres. So for the most part these movies focus on paid tourism adventures, where you are out looking for a good time. We have avoided movies that are essentially Road Trip Movies, Summer Camp Movies, Cabin in the Woods Movies, Hotel/Motel Horror, and Nature Survival movies. Also, if you just can’t get enough of Summer Horror, we have you covered there too. The expectation of the protagnists in these movies is to have a good time. Suffice it to say, none of them do.

So, with that… go enjoy your vacation! Or, watch these movies of people who did not pay attention to our suggested warnings.

A Perfect Getaway (2009)
Borderland (2007)
Death of Me (2021)
Hatchet (2006)
Hostel Part II (2007)
Turistas (2006)
Infinity Pool (2022)
Old (2022)
Chernobyl Diaries (2012)
Piranha 3D (2010)
Rogue (2007)
The Bermuda Triangle (1978)
Hostel (2005)
The Ruins (2008)
Escape from Tomorrow (2013)
Backcountry (2014)
Afflicted (2015)
Open Water (2003)
The Descent (2005)
Tourist Trap (1979)