One of the people I know who exudes authenticity has an incredible ability to be totally present with everyone he is with. He gives every person he spends time with his complete undivided attention. By his way of being he invites you to trust him. He asks insightful questions and before you know it you are having a profound ‘level 5′ conversation and making self-disclosures.

The sorts of behaviours that demonstrate authentic business relationships and mutual confiding include:

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• Talking about personal matters such as your hopes and fears.
  
• Confiding about career failings as well as your career aspirations.
  
• Introducing friends and family and inviting the person to your home.
  
• Being open about professional challenges whether they be interpersonal, organisational or financial.
  
• Conversing at a ‘level 5′ where personal disclosures are made.
  

By comparison business relationships that lack authenticity are generally shallow and superficial. Not only is the foundation of the relationship transactional but its life and breath is also transactional. There is nothing wrong with these kinds of functional relationships but they are not the most resilient or the most authentic.

Something I really struggle with is when you telephone someone and within a few moments they say ‘So how can I help you?’ I oscillate between thinking it’s great they want to be so helpful on the one hand, but on the other it smarts with me because it is so transactional.

One of my blue chip clients encourages its senior people to engage in ‘professional intimacy’. This is about a commitment to being intentional about finding opportunities to be appropriately vulnerable with colleagues and clients. It is those moments of openness and vulnerability that build connection, commitment and authentic business relationships.

Question: How can you develop greater mutual confiding and build more authentic business relationships?

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