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The first posuk in the parsha says: “Hashem spoke to Moshe after the death of Aharon’s sons when they approached before Hashem and they died.â€

And then the following posuk starts with the words, “And Hashem said to Moshe…â€

Why do both p’sukim say that Hashem spoke to Moshe? When does Hashem actually start to speak? Is it after the first time in the first posuk, or after the second time in the second posuk?

The Klai Yakar says that, really, Hashem spoke twice, and that each posuk is a separate statement of His. He says that the last four words of the first posuk are a direct quote from Hashem, and with those words He tells Moshe the reason that the sons of Aharon died. “Because they approached before Hashem and died.â€

But, if that’s the case, why does Hashem refer to himself in the third person? Shouldn’t He have said, “When they approached Me and they died.â€

The Klai Yakar gives an answer. But I’d like to suggest another possibility.

Let’s listen carefully to the words of the first posuk. “When they approached before Hashem and died.†What a difficult concept for the modern ear to absorb. Today we are so used to hearing people say that, “Religion is a very personal thing. Don’t tell me how to express myself in my relationship with GD. I’ll decide how I show my love for Him. And GD will accept whatever I do because the only thing that matters to Him is the desire that we have to get close to Him.â€

And so the four Divine words of our posuk teach a completely foreign concept: That you can die trying to get close to GD.

How do we understand that?

Judaism is not just a religion. It’s a relationship with Hashem…  a unique relationship, with it’s own dynamics. But it’s a relationship. And in relationships, the rule is that the way that we get close and show love to others is based on the other’s criteria, not ours. We show our love for others based on how they are prepared to receive it, not on how we prefer to give it. If we follow our own feelings and refuse to listen to how others wants to be approached, we have to wonder whether we really in it for them? Are we making room for them? Or are we just doing it for ourselves? At a certain level, this approach to relationships lacks humility and smacks of self-centeredness. 

And the same is true with Hashem. Of course He values our intentions. Actions without intentions are hollow. But He also requires humility. He requires that we get close to Him based on His criteria, not on ours. Otherwise, we’re not getting anywhere near Him at all.

This idea answers the Klai Yakar’s question. When Hashem described the way the sons of Aharon approached Him, He refers to Himself in the third person as if to say, “they weren’t coming close to Me, for if they were, they’d have listened to what I had to say about it!†Hashem speaks in the third person as though He were speaking about someone else.

So, it is true. We can die trying to get close to Hashem. And it’s a huge lesson for all of our relationships. To have some humility; to make room for others; not to get wrapped up in our feelings and ideas of what we think the other wants. But, instead, actually listen to what the other says and let that be the blueprint for the love we try to show them. That’s the secret of coming close.

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