We are not perfect. We strive for perfection, on the road to Perfection. As a couple, Beth and Kristofer work hard to be who we are supposed to be every day. Sometimes we fail, and sometimes we fail spectacularly! There is less likelihood if the couple discerns together, as one, and there is greater opportunity and possibility of forgiveness, reconciliation, and being better and doing better moving forward. Discerning as a couple starts with some basic rules, one of which we talked about when we opened this series with the episode The No Always Wins. As we begin this episode, we talk about Deaconate Formation as a good model to start with concerning that critical tool.

A lot of what we have practiced in our own marriage comes from Beth’s parents, as well as a great gift from Kristofer’s Dad. While not explicitly taught, each of these deserve the credit for us being generally good at discerning as a couple. Anytime we fail, it’s on us!

After an emotional start, we dive into the how-to.

Everything we decide and do has a ripple effect.

And we aren’t talking about what’s for dinner. We’re talking about discerning as a couple for family, family, planning, and managing the ongoing aspects of life together that challenge us every day. Just thinking about a decision without involving our spouse still affects our spouse. When we talk about discerning as a couple, it involves every aspect of the past episodes, and being certain to not fall into group think or fail to consult consult other sources. Reading scripture, praying together, going to Mass together are all parts of being married that should be in a discernment. The Lord speaks most explicitly to us through our spouse – if we listened and have created the marital relationship that allows it.

Discerning as a couple is not “natural” so much as it is something that we have to grow into. The better formed each individual is, the better formed and informed the marriage is. Discerning as a couple is supernatural because of that. Remember, we are discerning the better over the good.

We take the last few moments to address couple discernment missing in a relationship that we believe leads to the significant number of divorces in married couples after the children have all left the house.

This series has been a thumbnail of the Discernment Parish Mission we provide, tailored to the needs of the community and the needs of the individuals in that community. When your diocese, parish, organization, or individuals need help figuring out God’s direction for them, this is what we help with – giving you tools to keep and practice so that you, too, can reach the goal of discernment – peace and freedom that brings you closer to God, more perfect, more holy, in concert with your primary vocation, on the path you’re supposed to be on – the Road to Perfection – so you can know who you are supposed to be, be who you are supposed to be, and do what you are supposed to do.

We are glad to help! Contact us here!

Previous Episodes in this Discernment Series:

Discernment – What It Is and What It Isn’t – Episode 176
Discernment – Listening For God – Episode 177
Discernment – Listening To God – Episode 178
Discernment – Being Open To God’s Messengers – Episode 179
Discernment – Peace and Freedom – Episode 180

Some items on our site that will help in Discernment – Peace and Freedom, or at least get you started:

Page: Letters Home

Page: Prayer Basics

Article: Why Doesn’t God Shout?

Video: Spirit In Life – Exploring the Holy Spirit | A Video Series

Video: Fruits of the Spirit: Peace

TWMWU: Follow Christ!

TWMWU: This Great Gift

Podcast Episode: Praying With Your Spouse, Part I – OTRTP0004

Podcast Episode: Peace – Episode 32

Podcast Episode: Discerning God’s Will – Part 1 – Episode 74

Podcast Episode: Discerning God’s Will – Part 2 – Episode 75

Podcast Episode: How Do I Listen To And Hear The LORD? – Episode 145

Podcast Episode: God’s Beauty – Episode 160

Podcast Episode: Walking In The Catholic Faith – Episode 167

Your suggestions, questions, and ideas for topics are what we need to keep providing great episodes. Email us or use the contact page to let us know what you would like us to talk about, or comment below to let us know if we picked a good topic with Discerning As A Couple.