Healing is about accepting that bad stuff occurs, not embracing
it and loving.
Have you every had someone tell you during a bad time in your
life that "when you embrace the bad stuff it makes the good stuff
even better"?
What a lame-ass and dumb thing to say.
There is NO psychological evidence and/or proof that embracing,
loving, holding on to, focusing upon traumatic times improves the
sweetness or enjoyment of celebratory times. None. Nada.
So why do we say it? I have no idea.
The reality is that all you need to do when the fit hits the
shan in your life is accept that the dramatic life storm has
and/is/may occurring/occur. Denial is the deadly path straight back
to the gates of Hell.
When my children died, I had to accept that reality in order to
begin my journey on the highway of healing. I had to accept the
historic truth that they died and that I would not be allowed to
raise them, hold them, love them, cheer for them at games and
plays.
I didn't have to wallow in the pain, accept their deaths as a
caveat for the joys that would come from raising my living
children. That is just plain stupid. Dumb. Moronic.
If you are on the highway of healing don't every let someone
encourage you to embrace and love the bad times for the purpose of
appreciating the good times. All you need to do for healing is
accept that the bad times exist.
Then curse them, hate them, learn from them and get busy
healing.