The senility of Norm MacDonald, Guardians of the Galaxy 2, why employees must wash hands, Jake talks about Spider-man for too long, hairdos and hairdon'ts, gay comebacks and more!

Picking the sterile parent, how gay is GAY, what "The Fifth Element" did for transgenders (besides the element being love), ancient cartography, confirmation of google stats, and the Kevin Spacey model of success.

After a super long, Jake makes his triumphant return...we discuss catfishception and bullfrogging, asexual reproduction, Breaking Bad, Keeping it 1 hunnid, the plight of Kanye Westbrook, and we discover that Thursday Night Football makes Jake angry....

United Airlines, Bill O'Reilly versus Bill Cosby, the casting couch, new technology in porn, morbid "Would You Rather" scenarios, elderly entitlement, sex with dolls, horse rape, and more!

Twitter success, announcement of the "Jake and Josh and Me" illustration contest, Amazon, Netflix, an interesting Would You Rather, coffee table jokebook, the differences in racism between races, Louis CK, and more!

Homelessness, capitalism versus socialism, how to get unlimited free MVP upgrades at Sports Clips, DNA's ability to store data, checking your sources, what women view as "ideal" physically, and more!

What our favorite animal molestation videos are, playing mentally-retarded characters in movies, the Toilet Paper Paradox, how to get cheap paint, vomiting in cups, and more!

Hitler comes up in this episode more than we'd like to admit. Other topics include how Lego is killing it in the movie game now, the ups and downs of virtual reality, and what makes for a good school shooting!

Shitty anecdotes, how degrading women is becoming the new n-word, Trump's wall, a brief look at how Sports Clips could take things to the next level, and more!

Self-induced laryngitis, how shitty it is to keep your pet alive, Drew Carey's metamorphosis, double-standards in gender rights, everyone's documentary on themselves, and full-service massage parlors. And more!