“Haven’t banged a Socrates yet. There was one time I banged a soccer team ’cause it sounded close.”

Teen Sarah of having a Crab Dad, and Kelley Hightower of Mating Habits of the Modern Geek are here! On a Friday night even! A special appearance by celebrity guest Crab Dad! Greg Rucka is real mad about your mean shirts, and Sarah quietly disappears at some point. Kelley approves of Sean Ryan marrying Krang, and Kyle and Kelley both bang sports teams. Don’t teach men not to mind women ruining the internet, teach Women not to ruin the internet. Dating is gross and you’re all doing it wrong. Kid-having is also gross. Sex and coffee are gross too. Most things are gross, really. Dating tips: is showering lying to people? Should girls ask dudes out? Krafty Matt and Sean Ryan are the wrongest, and Em washes her mom. BloodBlader calls in to defend his novel Slippers Gaiden. Kyle is really into dudes turning into girls now, and OH SHIT DOG ATTACK! BloodBlader gets his identity stolen.