Do you know any cheapskates—those people who hold so tight to their money, they kill those dead presidents all over again in their grip? Beyond being frugal, cheapskates are downright excessive in their non-spending habits. To be clear, there’s a difference between budgeting—or being broke—and being straight-up cheap. Cheapskates are easy to spot; they’re also hard to be around for any length of time.

But what about the other kinds of misers? Using money's a good example because it's so familiar to us, but there are lots of ways to be scrimp through life. After a whole bunch of setbacks, I finally put together this list, which is by no means exhaustive, but it’ll help you spot similar tendencies in your own life and offer ways to do a 180º by turning them into opportunities for growth. As the saying goes, acknowledging the issue is the first step toward changing it.

If you catch yourself in any of these examples, consider them invitations to open up the flow in that area. Flow, by the way, is a marker of prosperity!

1. You resist compliments. This applies both to the giving and receiving ends. How well you take a compliment is directly related to your ability to embrace abundance. Have you ever been in close proximity to a truly attractive person—whether it's a pleasant demeanor, great energy, a beautiful appearance. etc—and thought as much to yourself, but didn't say anything to the person? This piece is natural enough, but the miserly aspect attaches itself if the follow-up thought is a negative thought like that person's probably shallow, no one's really that nice, what a bitch, or something equally base. When you find yourself energetically whacking someone in this way, it's likely an attempt not only to bring them down to size, but to keep you stuck, safe and comfortable in your corner.

THE 180º To open up in this area, it's worth remembering how great it feels to be seen and surprised by random kindnesses. And knowing you have the power to do that for someone will bless you right back. The next time you're around someone who's truly attractive in any way, offer them a genuine compliment on it. You'll feel good at the gift you've given and you will have widened your world by moving into it with grace and good intention!

 

2. You hide the truth. Lying and willfully hiding the truth can take on many faces. A big-faced lie is one that involves keeping your story to yourself. Or worse: downplaying what you know to be true. There was a viral video circulating recently of a young woman sharing her story of being abused at the hands of her mother's boyfriend. She blamed herself and suffered a long time as a result. She finally opened up and told her story. It was painful at first, but as she shared her experience, she touched more and more people by her example and encouraged other girls to come forward to get the help they needed to heal. Your story might not be as tragic as that, but there are experiences you've had that can help light the way for someone struggling and feeling alone right now. Maybe you think it's too much or too little to tell what you've been through, but I guarantee you, holding on to it won't benefit anyone.

THE 180º The next time you find yourself with an opportunity to open up about who you are and where you've been—in a way that feels right and appropriate to do so—then go for it. If I had never begun to share my stories about various issues of failure and feeling small, I'd still be stuck with them, too afraid to stand up and be seen as mySelf.

 

3. You always apologize. Offering a heartfelt apology that takes ownership for having hurt someone is right and good, but it becomes an act of self-harm when we take up the cause of apologizing for the bad behavior of other people. Do you ever catch yourself saying ‘sorry’ for conditions beyond your control? Do you position yourself as the ‘bigger’ person by apologizing when you don’t really mean it?