Shownotes: www.entrepreneursintraining.net/58
How To Win Friends And Influence People Summary
I suggest an alternate title for this book:
How to Treat Other People Well and Thus Be a Better Person Yourself.
It's basically a manual for behavior toward other people. If you follow the advice Carnegie gives, you improve your life and the lives of those you interact with. “The principles taught in this book will work only if they come from the heart. I am not advocating a bag of tricks. I am talking about a new way of life.” -Dale Carnegie In the show, we cover the fundamental principles - Part 1 of the book.
FUNDAMENTAL TECHNIQUES IN HANDLING PEOPLE

Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.

Criminals like Al Capone don’t see fault in their actions.
The vast majority of us don’t blame ourselves for our actions. Criticism of those actions doesn’t change that.
Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself.
Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person's precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.
Abraham Lincoln as a model: Early in Lincoln’s life he was openly and often critical of others. Eventually he realized how impractical that was, how it didn’t work. Once, a Union general didn’t follow Lincoln’s orders to attack a retreating Confederate Army just after the battle of Gettysburg. An attack would have ended the war. But Lincoln opted not to criticize the Union general, although Lincoln was furious.
Benjamin Franklin was also a master at this: "I will speak ill of no man," he said, " . . and speak all the good I know of everybody."

Give honest and sincere appreciation.

To get people to do something, you have to make them want to do it for themselves.
To do that, give people what they want.
People want to feel important, they crave feeling appreciated
Sigmund Freud, William James, John Dewey, Abraham Lincoln all said this in one way or another
James: "The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated."
Charles Schwab, paid a ton by Andrew Carnegie (Carnegie was like this too): "I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people," said Schwab, "the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement. "There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a person as criticisms from superiors. I never criticize any-one. I believe in giving a person incentive to work. So I am anxious to praise but loath to find fault. If I like anything, I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise. "
Carnegie emphasizes not to use flattery. Flattery is insincere. You need to be sincere in your appreciation

Arouse in the other person an eager want.

People aren’t interested in you. They’re interested in themselves.
Always strive to take their viewpoint, think about what they want.
Think, How can I make the person want it for themselves
Andrew Carnegie story: His sister-in-laws college kids wouldn’t write home, too busy with school. Carnegie made a bet he could get them to write a letter to him without requesting it. In the letter, he mentioned the 5 dollars he enclosed. Only he didn’t put the 5 dollars in. He got letters back immediately.
Henry Ford said, "If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from that person's angle as well as from your own."