I then cover some areas I struggled with first starting out as a teen dad. Lastly, I give you 3 reasons to cling to if you aren’t sure you are ready to be a young dad.

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• Why I chose to be a dad at 18 years old.
  
• That it’s a choice instead of a trap to be a young dad.
  
• Things to watch out for when stepping into this new role of young daddy.
  
• How you can find purpose in being a young dad even if you aren’t ready.
  

I found out I was going to become a dad when I was 18 years old. I never really knew my father and I surely didn’t plan to have kids young.

Like many guys that have kids young, we aren’t thinking about the future, but what happens when we get a girlfriend, one night stand, or a girl we just met pregnant? That’s the one reason I started this entire brand. There is an absolute need to know how to “Start Smart” as a young parent.

Whether you are in a good, bad or mediocre point in your life right now, you have the potential to start off on the right foot. When you have a child young, it isn’t the end of your future, dreams or life as you know it. It is the beginning of a new chapter of an entire new season of your life. I know, it may not make complete sense, but just give it a little time, start taking small steps toward being the dad you want to be for your little one and trust that you will be better off than if you just chose to run away from the whole entire situation. You have a unique opportunity to be present in your child’s life. Take advantage of it. It’s a gift.

We All Have A Choice

You technically don’t have to stay and be present for your young family. Even though it may be the noble thing to do, the responsibility of leading, proving and loving a family is tough. I understand all of that. Lets take a look at why if you are a young dad you might want to pull a Whodini and just disappear.

Let’s take a look at why you might want leave, so you can better understand that it’s normal to feel the following, but you don’t have to act on them.

1. Feeling Inadequate

You are not ready to be a dad, the goals you might of had for your life are dead. Just kidding, but thats what it feels like at first. Trust me when I say, the added pressure and feeling unqualified will end up helping you focus on things that matter instead of the things you thought that mattered. Just give it time.

2. Feeling The Pressure

Feeling the demand from a baby and mom. This is normal, but don’t trick yourself into thinking that you need to focus all your energy an attention on their needs. You are better off bettering and maintaining yourself so you can better support your young family. It’s easy though to focus on the things you are failing at as a young dad and the fact you aren’t sleeping well. It’s a trick. Don’t fall for it. I am not saying to ignore your family, instead, you need to be a leader and to be a leader you can react to every single fight, pain and sleepless night you go through. Stay focused young dad!

3. Feeling Trapped/Less “Me” Time

At first your time gets cut in half. Yes, you are going to have to change diapers, sleep less and be annoyed because you are still trying to find out what the heck you are going to do with your life. Trust me, it gets better. Give it 6 months and I am sure your love for your family will overshadow the feeling of being trapped. Also, it will only be a matter of time until you adjust to having less time for yourself, plus when you do have time for yourself it will feel even better because you

Things I Struggled With As A Young Dad

1. My Relationship With My Wife 

I didn’t realize that my communication sucked. I found out pretty quickly once I was sleep deprived and all over the place. Luckily, we had great friends close by and they helped us through a tough time in our marriage.

2. Priorities

I was putting a lot of emphasis on things that I thought were important. Then I felt like crap. And really guilty. All the things I did thinking I was going to help my family. Didn’t matter.

3. Taking the Lead in My Household

You are the head of your household. Make it count. When I first became a young dad I was all over the place and I wasn’t aware that I even needed to lead my household. Or what that meant. I thought that was only for men like Pastors, Presidents and Football Coaches. I soon discovered that someone needed to lead. I volunteer as tribute.

Today

Take 15 minutes to think about why you are capable of being a young dad.

1. Write down the one thing you rock at that sticks out most to you.

2. Write down the one thing you can improve at that sticks out most to you.

The next couple months

In the next 3 months, focus on the thing that you can improve at and keep doing the thing you are already doing well. Ready. Set. Go.

The post EYF 002: Why I Chose to Be A Young Dad at 18 & How You Can Start Even If You Aren’t Ready appeared first on Empowering Young Families.