This week in the Dads Toolbox we have Sheri Gazitt of Teen Wise, a website and resource for all parents working to better with our teens. Today we are talking about strategies to make yourself heard and communicating with your teen!

Sometimes it may seem like you are talking to a different species when it comes to teens
3 part formula to talking to your teenListen

Listen
Digest
Respond

Listen – really listen. Listen to what they are saying. Are they comfortable with the conversation? Sometimes you cannot drop everything. Say to them, give me 5 minutes and I want to talk to you about this. Sometimes we forget to do this, but we can learn so much through this.
Digest – think about their perspective. I want to go to the movie, and I want to go without you. Your gut reaction might be – no way! You have to think about their perspective as they may really be asking – do you see me as responsible.
Respond – This is not the same as reacting. Usually reactions are based on emotions. We have to be calm in our responses. What do we want them to learn? It is about the wording that we choose. In the end you want your kids to feel respected.
Techniques We Can Use
Take deep breaths and pause before responding
Change your thoughts about what these conversations are about. It is not always about the information that you have to impart, but instead who they are and who they want to be.
If you feel that you do not have a strong foundation to have conversations. Start talking to your teenager about what they are interested in and get to know them in this.
For some people you have to do some homework on what your kids like so you can have conversations about their interests.
You start small for the conversations that you want to have and work into the more important conversations.
Some parents want to be their best friend and this tends to backfire. You are going to have disagreements and not worry if your kids like you or not. This is because you are your childs’ rock.
When your child gets into middle and high school your child needs you even more to be there for them.
If you safeguard your kids all of the time you are making it that your kids will not be prepared for failures that may come.
Want to learn more about Sheri Gazitt or about Teen Wise?

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