This is the tale of Aaron Bush. Self-proclaimed trouble maker, Aaron has been wreaking havoc in the theater community as a "professional" for the past 16 years.  What started as an extra curricular activity in high school quickly turned in to a career.  He managed to turn skipping classes to build scenery and completely avoiding homework to attend rehearsals, apprentice at the local community theater, and work at a local television station into his reason for existence.  He started his first professional contract the day after he turned 18. Long hours, terrible pay (pennies an hour), and two days off in 8 weeks somehow drove this madman to pursue more of this questionable work and drive the point home that this is what he was destined to do for the rest of his life.  Back in the old days of fax machines, dial-up Internet, carrier pigeons, and smoke signals, he wrenched interviews out of potential employers like how a car dealer sells minivans to Mormons.  Job offers were abundant and he could pick and choose as he pleased.  Ultimately he chose to go work for a place in Utah that put on performances of Shakespeare every summer... A festival of sorts... A Utah Shakespearean festival (that's catchy.  someone should use that.)  it was here where he met the most unfortunate of all women who foolishly fell head over heels for his childish jokes, total lack of professionalism, and complete disregard for self preservation and ultimately chose to stick with him in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, until death do they part.  Yup.  He totally suckered her into making the worst decision of her life.  Not marriage.  That shit's awesome.  Marrying him was the bad decision.  She regrets it every day (probably).  After a couple more years, a few penniless treks back and forth across country, and blazing trail of shame and adventure, he dragged her kicking and screaming to Las Vegas (like ya do).  They managed to shoehorn themselves into employment with a small troupe québécois circus nymphs. After 9 years, the nymphs are still trying to get rid of him, but he keeps coming back... like that stray cat that you gave a slice of bologna that one time because you felt bad for him and now he won't go away.  In that 9 years, Aaron and his miserable wife have, against everyone's objections, reproduced.  Two unholy terrors that only have aspirations toward becoming a toothless hockey goalie Jedi and a heavy metal princess ballerina. (At ages 7 and 4, they really should have loftier goals by now. Them finally gettin' a damn job would be nice too.)  To this day, people still question why they ever chose to have anything to do with him.  He's gotten cranky. He's ugly. He smells bad. And whenever he's around people seem to quickly change the subject of whatever they were just talking about a few breaths ago into something that he knows absolutely nothing about.  This is his story...