I rant about this week’s Apple product announcements, the narcissistic nature of those who pre-order iPhones in the dead of night, how the tech community scoffs at “phablets” while most people want and love bigger phones, why Apple Pay will come the closest to gaining mainstream retail adoption (yet still not make it), and how the Apple Watch absolutely fulfills the definition of vaporware.

In addition, I explain why monetary interests rendered ‘Internet Slowdown Day’ as simply an act of corporate slacktivism, how insensitive brand tweets on 9/11 have just solely become fodder for false outrage through lazy journalists, why Reddit’s laissez-faire stance on censorship and poor taste should be applauded rather than vilified by digital activists, and how TechCrunch Disrupt’s winner shows that startups have unbelievably become even more insular in their problem-solving.

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• I bought a $1000 phone at 3AM in my underpants
  
• Here’s How Apple Will Convince You to Buy a Smartwatch
  
• Apple Watch: Asking Why & Saying No
  
• Here’s why Apple Pay will shake up consumer payments
  
• Walmart, Best Buy Won’t Accept Apple Pay At Their Stores
  
• The Internet Wants to Know Where to Return Apple’s Gift
  
• Amazon Cuts Price of Fire Phone to 99 Cents
  
• The ‘Internet Slowdown’ is a bogus, empty gesture
  
• Why I’m done being outraged over tasteless 9/11 brand tweets
  
• Reddit is a failed state
  
• The “Best Startup of 2014″ Is A Butler Service For Rich Techies
  

For more douchebaggery, follow me on Twitter @blenderhd or subscribe to my YouTube channel.