This week, I continue with my instruction in how to evaluate your anti-anxiety plan as you carry it out. As I said in an earlier podcast, such evaluation not only offers you an objective view of how well you’re doing, but also helps you to do better. What’s the best type of stress-reliever for you? Here's another way to discover what are the best type of strategies for you to use:

Read the statements below, and circle those that make the most sense to you. In total, it would be best if you could choose FIVE of the 21. To start, simply circle the numbers of the FIVE strategies you like the best. If you can’t decide between six, or even seven, that’s fine. Write those five numbers down on a piece of paper. For now, pay no attention to the letter that appears at the end of each sentence. This leaves 15 unchosen options, and for now, you may disregard them. Finally, the best strategy may be to listen to this podcast once, then actually do it by reading it in transcript form, which I also provide.

1. 
   
2. 
   

   The benefits of yoga are readily apparent. P

   
   
   
3. 
   

   I am more likely to get help with my anxiety from psychology than from religion. M

   
   
   
4. 
   

   I would love going on a vision quest, during which people isolate themselves to meditate for several days at a time, with only water to drink. N

   
   
   
5. 
   

   I think a lot of my anxiety probably comes from unconscious guilt feelings. A

   
   
   
6. 
   

   If you want to be happy and serene, you have to believe in the idea that “Wherever you are, there you are!” M

   
   
   
7. 
   

   I believe in the motto, “Want what you have.” Most of us want too much, and it makes us unhappy. "Desire is the direct cause of most unhappiness." B

   
   
   
8. 
   

   The best tranquillizer is listening to monks chanting. R

   
   
   
9. 
   

   Stretching ligaments, as well as muscles, truly calms a person down when she gets agitated. P

   
   
   
10. 
    

    Life is an illusion. It is a mistake to take it too seriously! B

    
    
    
11. 
    

    Some people say that repeated motions such as bowing you head can relax you. R

    
    
    
12. 
    

    I find that saying the rosary beads (or worry beads}, with a set prayer for each bead, works best for me. R

    
    
    
13. 
    

    It makes sense to me to replace the term "God" with the “Great Spirit.” N

    
    
    
14. 
    

    When you have wronged another person sometime in the past, the best policy is, “admit it honestly and ask for forgiveness.” A

    
    
    
15. 
    

    One of my strengths is my awareness of who I really am. A

    
    
    
16. 
    

    An excellent way to avoid becoming anxious is to be “mindful of my mental landscape.” M

    
    
    
17. 
    

    I can easily imagine why staring at a candle might do you some good. R

    
    
    
18. 
    

    Most of us are tense and nervous because we are trying too hard to keep up with the Joneses. B

    
    
    
19. 
    

    The best way for me to relax is through is tensing and untensing my muscles. P

    
    
    
20. 
    

    I try to avoid perseverating on fear about the future or some regret about the past. M

    
    
    
21. 
    

    I agree that passing the smoke from a burning bundle of dried sage around your body (called smudging) is a spiritual way to calm your nerves. N

    
    
    
22. 
    

    Oxygen, when breathed the right way, is a terrific tranquillizer. P

    
    
    

You should have a list of FIVE numbers of statements that you like best. One final step is called for:  to see which type of strategy you like best. This is where the letters that you see at the end of each statement come in. These letters represent six methodologies that are quite different from each other. Your choice of the FIVE statements above should indicate which of these systems appeals most to you. They are: A= Alcoholics Anonymous (even if you’re not an alcoholic); B = Buddhism; M = mindfulness, N = Native American; P = physiological exercises; and R = repeated rituals.

Perhaps you picked only two types of strategies because you especially like the methods they are grouped under: e.g. Buddhism and repeated rituals. If so, you will probably want to learn more about those sources of counsel. Easy to do online. On the other hand, perhaps your choices included most of the methods. That would be a statement about your openness to many different ideas. At any rate, it will prove useful to you to have some idea about what works best for you. I will have more to say about this later

Self-egulation

And now, consider: Most artists are slovenly, and most scientists look like they have springs coming out of their heads. Both are wildly eccentric, and neither can focus on anything but themselves. They are so intent on their big ideas, the rest of their lives are a mess!

Are these three statements true? As with all stereotypes, some exemplary people are like this. Not many, though. My research and that of others have found that most highly talented people are, in their personal habits, pretty much like the rest of us. This is because gifted individuals tend to have a higher than usual ability to control their emotions and behavior. And that is because, no matter how innovative their creations, people won’t want to hear from the innovator if she is socially inappropriate.

In fact, a symbiotic relationship exists between creativity and self-regulation. To be creative, you must be able to visualize a desired outcome and also to conceive of a plan to achieve it. Both these elements are also essential to self-control. One needs self-control in order to use time wisely, to work diligently, and to have the perseverance to fully develop their wishes and goals. And all of this needs to be evaluated!

People who are good at self-regulation learn better than their peers. For example, they:

• 
  
• 
  

  Seek out advice and information.

  
  
  
• 
  

  Commonly seat themselves toward the front of a conference.

  
  
  
• 
  

  Seek out additional resources.

  
  
  
• 
  

  Voluntarily offer answers to questions.

  
  
  
• 
  

  Manipulate their learning environments to meet their needs.

  
  
  
• 
  

  Last but not least, perform better on tests of performance and achievement.

  
  
  

That’s quite a list of advantages. Together, they make self-regulation one of the highest priorities of in our battle against anxiety.

Now, suppose you are walking along a road on a warm summer day and your stomach is growling. You are SO HUNGRY! However, you realize that the nearest place you can get food is almost a mile in either direction. Even if you run, you know that it’s going to be some time before you can satisfy your hunger. You can be miserable until you get to the food, or you can use self-control.

How can you manage your feelings so that they don’t drive you crazy? What are some techniques you might use to distract yourself from your hunger? Write down some of the methods that have worked for you in the past. You might also want to ask some of your friends, your work associates, your neighbors, or others what they do in these circumstances. When you get through this activity, perhaps you should make a list of the techniques you find useful, and memorize it.

.

Lest you think that self-control is only about social goals, listen to Steven Sosny:

“Research also shows that self-regulation skill is necessary for emotional wellbeing. Behaviorally, self-regulation is the ability to act in your long-term best interest, consistent with your deepest values. Violation of one's deepest values causes guilt, shame, and anxiety, each of which undermines wellbeing. Emotionally, self-regulation is the ability to calm yourself down when you're upset and cheer yourself up when you're down. Whether subtle or intense, conscious or unconscious, overt or covert, all emotions have one of three motivations:   approach; avoidance; and attack.” Let’s explore this idea through a couple of activities.

Imagine that your boss has just yelled at you because she thought you upset one of your workmates, but it wasn’t you. When you told her you didn’t do it, she wouldn’t believe you. How would you feel? What emotions would you have? Write down as many as you can:

1. 
   
2. 
   

   ________________________________________________________

   
   
   
3. 
   

   ________________________________________________________

   
   
   
4. 
   

   ________________________________________________________

   
   
   
5. 
   

   Please add some more.

   
   
   

Now let’s look at these feelings. Which ones seem the socially appropriate ones to you? Which emotions do you wish you didn’t have? What can you do about each one?

Finally, here is the last of my three types of anxiety self-analysis questionnaires:

This survey measures a broad spectrum of feelings you may have about yourself. The best way to use it is to fill it out before you design your anxiety plan, and then when you have finished it. You can also use it when you are carrying out your plan, to see how you are progressing. See whether the posttest yields a significantly lower score on anxiety than the pretest. If so, your plan is successful.

Scoring: For items 5, 6, 7, 12, 15, 19, and 24, the scoring is as follows: Strongly agree = 4, Agree = 3, Disagree = 2, Strongly disagree = 1.   For the rest of the items, this scoring is reversed, that is; Strongly agree =1, etc.  Add up the scores for each item to get one overall measurement of your social anxiety level.

Soon I will help you look at summative evaluation, the measure for measuring the success of your entire plan. Until next week …