The theme on YGTMAMA this month is LOVE. We are talking all about love. Self-love, romantic love, love for a child, divine love. With Valentines Day in a couple of days we wanted to chat about the languages of love, so today #onthepodcast we are diving into, and analyzing Gary Chapman's Languages of Love with my friend and original Mama Tribe contributor, Habiba Jessica Zaman.

Habiba Jessica Zaman has a master’s degree in professional counseling specializing in trauma, she is also the therapist and is owner of North Star of Georgia Counseling. With fifteen years of work experience in the counseling field including advocacy, guidance, and education, she believes that as awareness of one’s fears, perception, desires, and strengths increase, one can make successful life changes. She has nine publications that started with a children’s book published in 2012, But I’m Just Playing, and her latest Dear Time due to be released this year. She is also part of the original Mama Tribe and in three of the four, You've Got This, Mama books.

The 5 Languages of Love are:

expressing regret.
accepting responsibility.
making restitution.
genuinely repenting.
requesting forgiveness.

Sabrina shares her language and Habiba explains what it means and describes the details of each one. It can be confusing at times because, for most of us, we receive love differently than we give love.

Habiba explains that these languages are used in every relationship, not just romantic ones. Co-workers, family, friends and our children. Everyone has a love language and a way to give and receive love. She shares some tools for teaching your partner how to speak your language even if they are a little apprehensive about taking a test.

The ladies dive deep into the true meaning of the different languages. Words of affirmation - these are not compliments, more acknowledgments; that you are doing a good job or being appreciated for example. Acts of service - taking things off your plate, making your life easier. Receiving gifts - a physical manifestation of love, not necessarily big expensive fancy gifts. Physical touch - this does not need to be intimate but pats on the back, hugs, cuddles.

Habiba talks about how powerful curiosity can be. Using phrases like "I wonder" and "what if?" Can be very helpful in discovering the love language of others. It is important to ask questions so we are not imposing our own values and ways of receiving love on to others. They also discuss the importance of removing the ego from the equation. When we feel judged, the ego shows up. These languages are not simple but can really strengthen your bond.

It is very unusual for couples to have the same love language. She explains why and simple ways of sharing yours with your partner.

Children give love the way they receive it because that is the only way they know ow, then they turn into teenagers and do the same and then adults that do the same. This is why it is important to be open and clear about your way of receiving love as an adult, it is not always obvious to the partner.

Next, they dive into The 5 Languages of Apology.

expressing regret.
accepting responsibility.
making restitution.
genuinely repenting.
requesting forgiveness.

Habiba explains how these can actually be more important than love languages, especially in non-romantic relationships.

To connect with Habiba, on Instagram. Also, check out her website for updates and her books.