When something sad, bad, or anxiety producing happens in the
life of someone we care about, our immediate instinct is to
comfort.  Of course it is – we’re good people!  And often
this instinct is useful because comforting is exactly what the
situation calls for; for example a child’s bruised knee or a
nervous first day on the job are both situations where a “there,
there, you’ll be okay” goes a long way.
However, in the early days of grief, there is very little anyone
can say to take away a griever’s pain and there
is very little value in summing up the situation with a positive or
inspiring platitude. So, we suggest people hoping
to providing support.  In this video podcast, we outline
what this new conceptualization means.