"I can bore people to death with my philosophies and schedules on practice, but I’ve also been known to make things interesting by providing watermelons to the team that wins our scrimmages, or burning stuffed chimpanzees at the stake on the pitcher’s mound to “get the monkey off our backs” when we haven’t been playing well and can’t get over it.

[One practice], I blew my whistle, and my top… because our players weren’t putting out much effort in practice or in games. So, in a sense, they were practicing like they played and playing like they practiced, but not at a high level; they were loafing on the practice field and on the ball diamond. “You are not focused and you are not doing your best,” I lamented. Then, searching for a way to grab their attention, I said, “You all know the fencing coach here. He’s a former Olympic competitor, a great swordsman. But do you know that if he challenged me to a duel, I would win? Yes, I would win because if he came at me with his sword, I’d pull out a gun and I’d shoot that son of a bitch. I wouldn’t have a chance against him if all I had was another sword. I’d have to find another way to beat him. That’s what this team needs to realize. We an’t beat anybody right now unless we find a different way to do it because their fundamentals are better than ours. We need a different way to win. I’m trying to teach you how to practice to win. I’m giving you that different way, but so far, you won’t take it! I’ve got the guns for you, but you are all holding on to you swords and you’re going to get cut to pieces!”

Augie Garrido is the winningest coach in NCAA D1 baseball history.