Description: While a superficial assumption may lead you to conclude that controllers are self-assured and confident, they are in fact quite insecure. Controllers set themselves up for inner tension by presuming they cannot be satisfied as long as others do not conform. Common sense tells us, though, that high control people have diminishing appeal since their behaviors tend to bring out the worst in relations. Something to Think about: The more you control, others look for ways to operate without you. Controlling behaviors diminish the potential for love. Secure people know that others are drawn in by love, understanding, and patience. Let’s Talk Question: In what ways does the controlling person operate with delusional thinking as they try to force others into a mold?