Jade Lee

Today I would like to lovingly introduce you to a concept entitled the Infertility Mentality.  This is the train of thought reflecting a place of "stuck" and "quit," consistently uttering the subsequent notion within your subconscious intellect, "I will never _______." 

Have Children...Realize My Dreams...Get Married...Be Fruitful...Multiply...Be Successful...Be An Entrepreneur...Overcome this Weakness.
What is the Never we have Received as Actual?
What is the never we have received as actual?

The Infertility Mentality is found in more than the barren woman hoping to have children; quite the contrary, it is housed in the minds of all of us if we are not careful, but particularly in the waiting process.

This one word...Infertility is as a needle-like fastening into a studded wall, threatening to clasp us onto its vertical wood panel, a piece of shameful art for all to behold as we WAIT.

This avoided word consists of a small, equally unwelcomed term, "Infer."  To gain a more in depth understanding of this place called "Stuck" we must understand "Infer."

To Infer, according to the Webster's Dictionary, means "to conclude by reasoning from evidence or premises; deduce," "to involve or imply as a conclusion: give evidence of."

This is why we develop an Infertile Mentality, painfully puncturing our weakened hearts: we have concluded by reasoning from the evidence and previous propositions provided that we are glued.

We cannot, will not, do not know how else to Get Out of our current dilemma.

We have the seeming inability to figure; it is beyond us how to get over this persistent hurdle.  Therefore, our reasoning quenches all faith, concluding that this must not be meant to be--our once awe struck dreamy hearts now become deadened and lifelessly drained.

This is the Infertility Mentality.

It is one of the greatest testimonies to our Considerable Need, our Humanity and our Weakness without the evident conceptualization of the Almighty's Unlimited Power.

Instead, we heed to self reasoning; all that remains is doom to utter hopelessness.  But as we are gently prompted in His goodness, our once enervated souls begin to blossom.

This idea produces fond yet bitter sweet memories of my track and field glory days, those delightful moments of victory.  We would run for miles and miles, in wooded lots, open fields, valleys and mountains.  Yet every terrain would bring with it inevitable challenges.

As we dreadfully walked up to the university 15 passenger hearse, we were being escorted to, my whole body would tense and cringe.  It never seemed to feel any less than a live death process.  And this is Not an exaggerated description. 

Even practices--running up and down, up and down hills that I wished were never created in the mind of GOD--were so painful it would take every measure of mental strength in me to block out the soon-coming portion of my day entitled 3:30PM.

Oh how I would long for it to never come, yet wanted it so greatly that I may obtain the Champion's Prize.

One by one, we would silently take slow steps up, seating ourselves apprehensively onto the cushioned benches.  The 15 minute trip could never be too prolonged.  You could hear a pin drop as we each gazed out the clear, glass panes thinking of the pain we were about to endure; but not one of us would trade the approaching glory on our team's horizon.

It was in practices like these, traversing through varying terrains that I learned the Art of Perseverance.  I learned the power of Visualization.  I learned no matter the extent or duration of pain, it would soon have it's resolution if only I Did Not Discontinue.

There were summations of discomfort in these Glory Days that would bring the most resolute atheist to her knees in prayer, Crying out, "Jesus!" due to a desire for momentary relief.

Self Reasoning and Figuring were not enough to endure in moments like this,