Honey, are you ok? You’ve hardly touched your slappy chicken

I originally read this article about 3 years ago and it was so intriguing, both that you could theoretically slap a chicken into cooked state or that someone has actually researched it

No joke

I won’t bore you with the maths

TLDR: 23,034 slaps

or

1 HUGE slap at 3725.95mph

Imagine having that power

“I AM THOMAS,

I CAN COOK A CHICKEN IN ONE SLAP

BOW BEFORE ME OR BE SLAP COOKED”

What’s the point of this?

While it may be possible to cook a chicken by a thousand slappy special move (if you’ve played Street Fighter 2 you’ll know)

This probably isn’t the best way to cook chicken on a regular basis

Even if you are LORD THOMAS then delivering the SUPER SLAPstill probably isn’t the best use of your energy