Which TovH podcast is actually cool enough to discuss the brutal, intricate depths of metal lyrics?  Rhetorical question

The erudite edgelords emerge once again!  In honor of Halloween we’re talking about a topic that should make your skin crawl: metal lyrics.  They range from low-effort filler (“Hello me, meet the real me!”) to high-minded lameness (“I AM THE TABLE”) to gory descriptions graphic enough to cause you some Crepitating Bowel Erosion.

I’m madly in anger with how Lars types

Look, if the lyrics were meant to be profound, you’d probably be able to understand them in the song itself instead of having to look them up.  Riff Raff doesn’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows.  No metal musician is winning a Nobel Prize in Literature any time soon.  But some metal songs still have interesting, clever, and dare I say, rather beautiful lyrics.  Exactly six of them, to be precise.  And they’ve been plucked from the wastelands of lyrical mediocrity by your favorite poetic poseurs Hans, Eenzy, and Spooky.  As emo Livejournal blogger T.S. Eliot once said

This is the way the podcast ends

This is the way the podcast ends

This is the way the podcast ends

Not with a headbang but crosstalk and mic-breathing

New Music Features This Week

Eenzy’s Picks
Pig Destroyer – Jupiter’s Eye    lyrics
Cave In – Moral Eclipse    lyrics

Hans’s Picks
Dunsmuir – Orb of Empire    lyrics
Hellripper – Anneliese    lyrics

Spooky’s Picks
Entombed – That’s When I Became A Satanist    lyrics
Hell – The Age Of Nefarious    lyrics