"Hot Claus"

"Even emo people are sitting there in the corner excitedly chittering about the new Star Wars"

"That’s what creativity ultimately endeavors to accomplish, is not being special, ironically"

"Inhofe would still throw a snowball at your house and say ‘Hah! There! I gotcha!’"

"That’s what we do with words that are supposed offend us. We make them into sex jokes."

"A pediatrician just sees weird feet… wait a second I think I mixed that up."

"That JFK was actually a human-moth hybrid and he was about to cocoon himself and that the assassination was an attempt to thwart this plot?"

"She’s accidentally illegally hunted two bears so she might not be qualified to be pretty."

"I’m gonna start a company called ‘Wolves for Awareness’"

"Where’s the sex hole on this movie? Will it be in the DVD edition!?"

"I don’t have a lot of time... or shame."

"They were literally dealt perfect genetic hands… and boobs."

"My bed is made of irony. It’s really uncomfortable. It’s very irony. I go to bed with a heavy clank every night."

"I have the sight of not seeing that which is not me!"

"This would be racist even in Canada!"

"A lot of flower children paradigming. Hoolahooping. Really, the word confuses me so that I say things like that and I know it doesn’t make sense."

"You have to consider that you might be insane and I think that’s a very sane thing to think."