“I always have a lot of extra hose in my trunk just in case.”

“That’s the public option. No, the public option is the one that’s shitty. In the sense that a vacuum cleaner sucks when it’s bad. You know. Like if toilet paper’s good then it’s shitty.”

“I good you bidet!”

“Now you’re basically a book, Playboy. You’ve gone from being a hot nudes magazine to being books. And nobody likes books anymore. I think you’d rather be a naked website than a stupid book, Playboy.”

“You said words that make my feelings go down. And my face. And they’re like weights attached to my face like a cuckoo clock.”

“I have the Stretchy Potty. I just fold myself neatly and half and then shit out of one end. Like a stapler. But horrid.”

“I feel informed. And violated.”

“So just vomit out nine syllables that mean NOTHING!”

“Let’s block out some time”

“George Bush in: A Fistful of Pubes”