“I wish there was a Sandlady so sleep wasn’t so gay”

“This chili tastes like steroids and anger”

“In our dojo there wasn’t even a shower there was just a creepy, back, tatami room where everyone just got nude and put on their gis. It was totally gi back there.” “That sound super gi!” “It was super gi!”

“I used my brain. I filled it with ideas and I put it in the refrigerator along with some gelatin.”

"These are your instincts, to have and to hone. They may be totally shitty. That’s not your fault but we can yell at you for it anyway. If you do so choose to open your dumbass, big mouth, then realize that people will hate you."

“I’m gonna put my genitalia in your face, and you have to learn about it!”