“I don’t know anything about Jews.” “I think they came from space. And then they built the pyramids.”

“If that guy ever fell from a tall building and essploded, someone would be like ‘Well we don’t need to harvest any more douche. We’ve got all that we need. Just scrape it from these cars and these young children that it has splashed on.’”

“When I’m being mauled by a black bear I find myself thinking, ‘Is this fair?’”

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