"Opportunity doesn’t always knock on a door. Sometimes it yells at a window."

"Also sometimes cats sleep in that window so I'm not really sure how seriously I take that window."

"I'm sorry I don't trust anybody above 50 pounds. So I'm only looking for the miniature scientists and engineers."

"I really don't wanna sound like an asshole because of my sausage fears."

"You people who don’t know... who just don't know! Or don’t yes, I don't care. Either way. You could maybe and I'd still think that you could use this advice."

"Shit in one hand argue with the other and get hit by a bus. That's how my great grandfather went out."