“HISTORICALLY, I'VE FOUND THAT RASH REFERENCES NEVER PLAY WELL IN MIDDLE AMERICA.” BRIAN LOHNES BRINGS THE ADVICE.

The Gearheads were honored to welcome the man with the golden voice, Brian Lohnes. Recently named as the Lead Anchor in all NHRA TV broadcasts next year, it's a dream come true of sorts for a guy who grew up watching it on television. More than just the sum of his manly chest, neck and head that you'll see on race coverage, he's a man with gasoline and room-temperature shrimp in his veins.

We talk early days, from his first thoughts ("hey, it's much colder out here!") through College, writing for car magazines, and eventually to television. We laugh, we cry, we explore, we invent things, and then we plot a reunion in three to five years. In many ways, it's a lot like prison, but without most of the pesky romance.

THINGS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:

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• Things start off perpendicular to the finish line
  
• The "snowball" effect of episode thirty-seven
  
• MOPAR guys are the Star Trek fans of the drag racing world
  – The 10,000 RPM limit and HEMI engines
  – Birth of the Polish Pentastar Program ("Number one in Hamtramck!")
  
• On being named as the voice of NHRA Drag Racing
  
• The ever-changing demographics of racing and the show here
  
• Debut of the Ira Spiderman Old Man-nequin
  
• No car enthusiast group is safe from generational ridicule
  
• Room temperature shrimp
  
• The greatest scam in the history of scams at the University of Massachusetts
  – A Pre-Med, a Pre-Law, an Engineering and an Art History major score a College-sponsored race car
  – The road to announcing is paved with road racing
  
• The requirement of looking out of the window versus at a computer screen
  
• Moving from IHRA to NHRA
  
• Steve Gibbs gives a big break
  
• The constant battle of not crying
  
• On "not Hindenburging" the show
  – The dangers of mentioning skin maladies in color commentary
  – How digestive jokes will make you the next Dave McLelland
  – Eczema as a career-killer
  
• The reality of an announcing tryout
  
• The gang goes "Aristocrats"
  
• The value of doing your research before calling an event
  
• Launching Bangshift and its predecessors
  
• A t-shirt with "BS" emblazoned on it
  – The value of a URL like manjunk.com in today's dollars
  
• Why people from Buffalo are the toughest ones on the planet
  
• Put Up or Shut Up
  
• The Gearheads make their Race to the Moon pitch
  – Private space programs as entertainment
  – Ultimate Capture the Flag TV show idea
  
• Searching for old drag strips
  – Brian suggests an Ancient Aliens crossover