“What are you talking about? You mean not just for a short time? You’re like going away – going away? But what about me?”

“Aren’t there enough body-shaming issues in middle school without throwing “fatty liver” into the mix? Does my liver look fat?”

“When I opened the door, that Great Dane knocked me off the porch and I cracked my skull. This is my 7th concussion this week!”

“Seriously? You’re going to explain that joke to me? I get it. And the only funny part is that you think it’s funny.”

“Fire Miranda! Fire! Fire! Fire! Get out of the house. Get out of the house now! Get the emergency ladder! Go to the window!”

“I’ve just shredded 1931! I’ve shredded 1931 out of existence! I’m 12 years old and I have destroyed an entire year of humanity!”

“I appreciate your determination, but I suspect doing the same thing over and over isn’t going to help. We need to innovate!”

“I can’t do a Double Maxi Ford Toe with a Pullback! We’re gonna lose this tap dance competition. I’m D-double-O-M-E-D – doomed!”

“I was reading an article: “15 Ways to Delude Yourself During an Existential Crisis.” #7 is BE PRESENT. Do I look present to you?”

“I was reading an article: “15 Ways to Delude Yourself During an Existential Crisis.” #7 is BE PRESENT. Do I look present to you?”